News of Zealand: Public Pools vs Poopers

This month, papers around the country have been battling to uncover the identity of a mystery pool pooper in Invercargill. The mysterious culprit—or culprits—have struck at Splash Palace six Fridays in a row after 5PM. The manager at the pool, Pete Thompson, reported that on one evening alone "they did one in the leisure pool and we moved the kids to the learners' pool, and they did one in the learners' pool and we moved the kids to the main pool, and one appeared in the main pool, so we had to shut the whole thing down. In one of those pools was diarrhoea … that was unfortunate."

To compound an already difficult situation for the pool, Pete added that the council could only cover their resulting costs if they could prove it was deliberate. Not only is the repeat offender gross, but with each incident taking six hours to clean up they've lost the complex thousands of dollars in revenue.

Other than the obvious safety risks of having a bunch of kids chilling out in feces-tainted water, during an interview on The Rock FM Peter also admitted that they no longer blow a horn when a Code Brown is spotted because of the safety risk it poses. Apparently waves of kids and old people rushing to exit a crowded pool doesn't comply with the classic walk don't run rule. Thompson, good-natured in the face of these ongoing attacks, also joked about weighing people on the way in and out in order to catch the offender.

Despite the brazenness of the repeat offenses, uncovering the identity of the culprit has been difficult given the busyness of the pool of Friday nights. While the leisure complex has security cameras, the definition is not high enough to capture the "red face of someone squinting". Opinion remains divided on the motives of the perpetrator, and while Thompson is optimistic that it may be a series of unhappy accidents from an unwell child, most members of the public think it's a series of malicious attacks.

Splash Palace have stopped short of closing the pool on Fridays, but have taken precaution to guard against another incident. They're offering free nappies to toddlers and reminding groups who frequent the pool about hygiene. Thankfully their efforts appear to be working as the offender appears to have taken his business elsewhere this week— much to the relief of pool clean-up staff.

The Invercargill mystery has called to mind a series of similar incidents late last year in Tokoroa, when eight mystery dukes were laid in the main pool. Christchurch was also the scene of a number of closures in early 2014 for the same reason, and Moana Pool in Dunedin was also forced to close this month.

The disturbing trend is surprising as the New Zealand government have been proactive in educating citizens about the dangers of laying tracks at inappropriate moments. Anyone growing up in the 90s would vividly remember the water safety ads warning of the dangers of "cryptosporidium, and the evil giardia".

Invercargill haven't been alone though in their ongoing issues around basic bathroom etiquette. Tauranga has also seen a rise in defecation in areas where many homeless sleep rough. Rather than focus on the difficulties faced by the individuals, locals seem more concerned with the human waste than those creating them.

Here's some good gut news for New Zealand though: At least 30 patients around the country have been treated with cutting edge faecal therapy, in which feces from a healthy family member is placed in the large intestine of a patient. This is definitely not a therapy to try at home, but the carefully screened waste has proven very successful in reintroducing healthy bacteria into the gut.

Sorry about ruining your day.

Follow Carolyn Wadey-Barron on Twitter: @wowcat9