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We Asked Cradle of Filth to Decide 2015's Sound of the Summer

From Fetty Wap to Jamie xx, who better to pick 2015's sunshine banger than a malicious and satanic extreme metal band?
May 22, 2015, 11:59am

This story originally appeared on Noisey UK.

Every year we desperately scamper to find our Sound of the Summer. The one tune that will blast everywhere from school run radio to Friday night at Fabric to sunrise in Ibiza to your mom's recently divorced mate’s ringtone. And none of us will tire of it, because, come on, lighten up… it’s The Sound of the Summer! It’s been Julio Bashmore's "Battle for Middle You," Daft Punk's "Get Lucky,” Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX's "Fancy"—even the “Maca-shitting-rena” at one point.

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So what better band to pick the tune that will be soundtracking the pumping of fists and doffing of snapbacks throughout the brighter months of 2015, than the malicious, satanic, and blood soaked British extreme metal institution that is Cradle of Filth. For the last year, Dani and his reassembled Filth have been working on their 11th album in a rural studio in Suffolk. The result, Hammer of the Witches, drops on July 10, and mixes their thrilling and gnarly metal grind with moments of pretty adventurous extravagance. When I asked him if he was looking forward to touring it, he beamed back: “You get fed up being in the studio, and you long for touring. Now I’m touring, I’ll probably long for the studio. After that? Probably death.” But even throughout this hellish schedule, he took a moment to talk to Noisey.

You’re now wondering why the hell Dani Filth would be a reliable tastemaker for this summer’s monster hit. Well, I’ll tell you why. You see, Cradle of Filth’s lead singer Dani Filth can cut through all the summer song bullshit like a blood-stained cleaver through mango. His dark and gothic eyes cannot sense sunshine, and his ears, tuned by 21 years of sonic extremity, are not charmed by epic builds or massive drops. He’s doesn’t enjoy softcore porn beach-based music videos. He doesn’t clap along if he feels like happiness is the truth. He thinks Ariana Grande is a font. He rarely ventures into daylight, and on the rare occasion he does, he’s wearing a t-shirt that says “JESUS IS A CUNT” rather than “EAT SLEEP RAVE REPEAT”. The only thing that will make this man drink Woo Woos from a coconut shell this summer is the ultimate sunshine banger. He is the filter of quality, the shaver of tackiness.

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So, let’s not waste anymore adjectives, and get down to business. I sent Dani Filth six potential summer anthems, rating from Fetty Wap to the UK Eurovision entry to David Guetta, and he critiqued them based on our rating system: sun emojis out of five, of course. This is the Cradle of Filth guide to 2015’s Sound of the Summer.

JAMIE XX - "LOUD PLACES"

This is a bit more of a club track. Are you feeling Jamie xx's "Loud Places"?
It certainly wasn’t loud, and it also doesn’t warrant an XX rating. It’s totally not my cup of tea. I prefer Fetty Wap. Coming back to his eye actually, that’s just really brave isn’t it? And the fact he had a good looking hoe, even with a gammy eye. Unless she’s also so hooked out on crack she doesn’t notice it.

I think only Fetty could answer that question. So you don't like Jamie xx? Were you a fan of the xx?
Who?

They are pretty popular. Like a chilled, UK, electronic r&b…
No. 1/5.

FETTY WAP - "TRAP QUEEN"

You feeling “Trap Queen”?
I can see why this is popular. It’s proper crack whore music. Is he smoking crack throughout this? It’s so gangster.

He loves his Trap Queen though. Have you ever written a song for love?
Well, there’s a track on the new album called “Black is Magic in Practice”. It’s a story based loosely on fact about someone who resorts to black magic as a last resort after the rape and murder of his wife. I suppose you can call that a love story.

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How romantic! Rating for Fetty Wap?
I’m going to give him 4, because he’s got one eye. He didn’t wear a patch like Gabrielle, and it truly is quite scary. So I like that, and I like that he’s smoking crack. After that, you can get away with murder. Actually, I didn’t watch the video until the end. Does he murder that girl at the end? Probably.

OMI - "CHEERLEADER"

Noisey: What did you make of this then Dani?
Dani: I’m absolutely shocked at the amount of hits some of the tracks you’ve sent me have got. If you were defining a hit of the summer, you’d expect it to be mega catchy. And this? You’d have it on in the background. It never gets to a big defining chorus as such. I thought it was a bit dull. And the video? It’s the same video they do for everybody. You’ve got some guy, with a hot chick, in a great car. I’d love to do a video like that.

I'd love Cradle of Filth to do a video like that. So you're not into the reggae vibes?
I don't like reggae. My dad was a massive reggae collector. His whole house was full of boxes of old Island records. We always used to have strange people round with funny smelling cigarettes now and again. It upset my mum. Sunday mornings would be the smell of cooking beef, and reggae. It nauseated me.

Do you think that might have played a part in your extreme metal radicalisation?
I think it was one of the things yes.

Simon Cowell was responsible for this one.
Well there you go. You’ve just rung it’s death knell.

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Rating out of five?
ZERO.

ELECTRO VELVET - "STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU" (UK EUROVISION ENTRY)

Thoughts on our UK Eurovision entrants?
Of course, it’s fucking awful. I thought it was a reincarnation of Betty Boo. Like everything we enter for the Eurovision. We’d be better off putting in someone to shake it up a bit. When Finland did that with Lordi - bloody awful - but compared to the rest of the usual crap it was great. You always know what Armenia, or Turkey are gonna sound like before you’ve seen it. Spain always come out with someone who looks like Pamela Anderson. Conchita Wurst mixed it up a bit, and I loved that because it riled the Catholics. They really weren’t happy about someone with a beard pretending to be a woman.

Conchita IS Eurovision. Rating for Electro Velvet?
Well, since it’s British, I’ll give it a 3. At least it’s trying. That 1940s vibe probably appeals to some people, somewhere. I could give it "nil pois", but we’ll leave that to everyone else.

DAVID GUETTA - "HEY MAMA" (FEAT. NICKI MINAJ, AFROJACK & BEBE REXHA)

I can already sense you hate this.
Yes! And you know why? Because it’s fucking David Guetta. My brother lives in London, he wears a big cap, and he pumps out music I don’t understand. Now he hates David Guetta with a vengeance. He gets drunk, and he takes the piss out of David Guetta. And I know why: because David Guetta. The man looks like a complete sap. He looks like the Welsh guy out of Notting Hill.

That's a point.
After my brother was constantly going on about Guetta, I had this picture of him in my head. I thought he was going to be some sort of 80s Gary type fella, really smooth looking. Then I suddenly saw this picture of him, advertising Ministry of Sound, where he’s kicking this disco ball. And I was like bloody hell, is that him? My god. He looks sappish!

What rating for this?
I’ll give it a 1, because he can’t ever do anything on his own. It’s always David Guetta featuring five other people. Lo and behold, this one features 3 people. David Guetta, come on man! Do something for yourself. You looks like a throwback from some German porn video.

THE PRODIGY - "IBIZA" (FEAT. SLEAFORD MODS)

Finally, The Prodigy. I feel like you might like this one?
Yes! I was listening to this in the car the other day. I’ve met them and played with them on several festivals. I think this track is really good, and I know the premise behind it too. The idea that it’s about all the pisstakers, the DJs that go to Ibiza with a backing track and just go through the motions. The Prodigy are clearly pissed off at that, and you can gather that from the lyrics. I can’t see it being a particularly radio friendly because of the “WHAT’S HE FUCKING DOING?” It’s so… well, Sleaford, there you go, says it all. I like the line about “£8 a packet of fags, so I’m on the rollies mate.” It reminds me of so many people.

I haven’t heard much of Sleaford Mods before. I heard a few when browsing. I like it though, I like the irony and the venomous nature. That’s what suits The Prodigy, when they are in your face. They are the digital sex pistols.

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Have you ever been to Ibiza?
Come on. It’s not really my vibe is it? A lot of my friends in various bands have recorded over there mind, and said it was fucking brilliant. There are some clubs that do metal over there, but it can be detrimental to the recording process though, because you go out there and you’re just getting absolutely fucked.

Maybe if you go out of season, you avoid the temptation?
Exactly, but then what’s the point?

Final rating of the day? Is this the one?
5. It's my favourite. *SOUND OF THE SUMMER KLAXON*

You can follow Joe on Twitter.

Cradle of Filth's Hammer Of The Witches is due for global release on July 10 via Nuclear Blast Records. You can pre-order it here.