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The The West is the Best Issue

Dear Diary

Quickly discovering how much acid sucks.
December 1, 2003, 12:00am

September 12, 1995 Dear Diary, I tripped on acid for the first time last night. Really strange. At first I was really confused and PARANOID, it was really bad. The visuals were insane. Colors all melting and stuff. Then I felt like I was this crazy, intelligent human being. I was looking down on all the crackheads and all the SXE kids because I had the best of both worlds right there in the middle. It’s better than E because E turns you into such a dork. It was good and I liked the mind trip but sometimes I just like to be planted down in reality. I love Kris, she’s so fucking cool. I don’t want her to think I’m not. I know she doesn’t though. I want to turn into the supreme human being that I know I am. I think I can do it. July 1, 2002 Dear Diary, And so began the Acid Years. I quickly discovered how much acid sucks. Actually, it wasn’t so quick. I’d say it took 10-------–12 more times of dropping that horrible substance on my tongue for me to actually realize that I didn’t need to take acid ever, ever again. How gay is drug culture, by the way? I mean, Ecstasy, acid—even weed, it’s all pretty dorky. Black-light posters, lava lamps, house music. It’s a suburban marketing scheme and that is the pits! Yesterday, a 32-year-old friend of mine was supposed to meet up with me, but when I called him he was all out-of-sorts because he had taken Ecstasy. Hello? People still do that? I guess so, although I don’t know how anyone over the age of 21 can think being a drooling, suckling, smoking homo would be fun. Me, I’ll just stick to heroin, thank you. No, I’m kidding. LESLEY ARFIN