Baylor's Football Stadium Is Tweeting, Possibly Horny

HA HA WAIT UPDATE: The actual, official Twitter account for Baylor's McLane Stadium is @McLaneStadium. I am an idiot, obviously, but you are welcome to continue reading.

There is a reason why most of your bigger football schools do not allow their football stadiums to tweet. For a program with a public profile as large as that of your average Big 12 school, message discipline is important. There are boosters to milk, fans to flatter, little dippy feints at virality by trying to BOFA Oklahoma State to attempt or whatever.

This is work that is best left up to humans, who are much better at this sort of stupid thing than large buildings. And so most of these schools do just that, they let humans tweet and buildings be buildings. Baylor University went a different route, creating a Twitter feed for McLane Stadium at @BaylorStadium, and then allowing the stadium to tweet for itself. This despite the fact that the stadium does not have a facility for written English, an understanding of how certain innocuous statements can look extremely horny if not written carefully enough. McLane Stadium does not even have hands, for goodness sake. Which makes this tweet not that surprising, in retrospect. (This is a screengrab.)

See, there are a couple things wrong here. For one, this was probably intended to be a Direct Message. For another, the first word should be spelled "UR" in order to save characters. The third thing is that the tweet was not yet deleted as I write this, and so is still standing tall, ungrammatically asking the internet to send it back a bunch of eggplant emoji.

Predictably, Twitter is taking the high road and refusing to make light of this stadium's wholly predictable difficulties with social media and written English.

.@cubs2win47 @BaylorStadium pic.twitter.com/CRIAL1xwf5
— retired sex panda® (@Pile_of_Derp) May 14, 2015

This seems as good a place as any to mention that Aaron Gordon wrote something very good at Vice Sports about the people who run professional sports teams' Twitter accounts. People, Baylor University. They don't just let the building do it. Start there.