Molly Hatchet, a frizzy haired '70s band who is probably playing at your hometown's rib festival this fall, had a moderate hit with the song "Flirtin' With Disaster." The vaguely menacing lyrics talk about how, even though the singer chooses his own destiny, he still, you know, flirts with disaster, "y'all know what I mean?" I honestly didn't, until I heard about what Anthony Frazier allegedly did in New Mexico over the weekend.
The 25-year-old man has been accused of a bizarre incident that starts with dancing in front of a stranger, and then ends with him stealing the man's green chile cheeseburger. And in New Mexico, you do not mess with somebody's green chile cheeseburger; getting picked up by the police is probably the best possible way that Frazier's story could've ended.
According to the Santa Fe New Mexican, on Sunday night, Frazier was at the Shake Foundation in Santa Fe where he allegedly approached an unidentified customer, "performed a dance," then slapped the man in the face. The startled individual dropped his green chile cheeseburger, which Frazier picked up right before he ran out of the restaurant. He was later arrested, and is being held without bond. (Frazier was also reportedly wearing a belt around his neck, so chances are, he was easy to spot.)
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This incident happened just days after the New Mexico State Fair held its annual green chile cheeseburger competition, determining which restaurant can claim chile superiority for a solid 365 days. (The green chile is New Mexico's official state vegetable.) Sparky's Burgers, located in Hatch (population 1,648) won this year's title, backing up the town's assertion that it's the Chile Capital of the World.
Earlier this summer, the mayor of Albuquerque declared Friday, June 16 to be "Green Chile Cheeseburgers Day," and the city's minor league baseball team temporarily switched its name from the Isotopes to the Green Chile Cheeseburgers. "We wanted to embark on a journey that would be all about what New Mexico is all about," Isotopes General Manager John Traub said of the one-night name change.
So yeah, forget about Pueblo architecture, turquoise jewelry, and Georgia O'Keefe: New Mexico is all about green chile cheeseburgers. Keep that in mind if you're ever—EVER—thinking about stealing one.
The cops might not be around to save you.