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How To Make A Thanksgiving Feast With Matty Matheson

Welcome to the world of Thanksgiving! In the latest How-To, Matty Matheson shows us how to make a proper traditional Thanksgiving feast.
October 9, 2015, 8:12pm

Welcome to the world of Thanksgiving! In the latest How-To, Matty Matheson shows us how to make a proper traditional Thanksgiving feast.

Did you know that the biggest problem in the world is that motherfuckers don't know how to cook a turkey? We're not gonna stuff the bird because that increases cooking time and the stuffing comes out like a sponge. We're not gonna deep fry the bird. We're not going to stuff a duck up its ass, and we're not even going to brine the turkey. What we are going to do is put some fresh herbs in the cavity and cover it in salt, that's it—it's that easy guys!

Obviously no feast is complete without fixin's, so Matty is also going to show us how to make casserole stuffing, cream cheese mashed potatoes, maple syrup-roasted carrots with pistachios, roasted brussels sprouts with bacon, sweet potato and butternut squash mash, creamed corn, gravy, and cranberry sauce. You're welcome!

Fuck with that turkey, trolls! Thanks to Thanksgiving, world peace!


No-Brine Turkey (11 lbs.):

  • Take the turkey out of the bag. stick your hand into the cavity of the turkey and take out the offal, i.e. heart, neck, gizzards, kidneys
  • Pat the turkey dry with a towel, heavily season the turkey with kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper
  • Pre-set oven to 450° F
  • Stuff turkey with 1 lemon cut in half, a few sprigs of thyme, parsley and sage, throw some garlic cloves in there as well
  • Place turkey in a large roasting pan add some chicken stock to the pan and the turkey neck roast for 2 hrs. or so. make sure to check every half hour and on the last 45 mins turn down to 325° F to finish with a lower heat so its nice and moist. also baste the turkey with the chicken stock in the pan
  • Take the turkey out and let rest for at least 15 mins to make sure all the juices chill out and it doesn't "bleed out" when you slice it

Apple Cider-Roasted Carrots with Ricotta and Pistachios:

  • Peel and cut 6 large carrots and cut into pieces
  • Place into the roasting pan
  • Add a few tablespoons of butter
  • Pour 1/5 cup of apple cider on the carrots
  • Add 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
  • Add 4 tablespoons maple syrup
  • Roast for 20–30 min at 450°F until deep brown and glazed from sauce
  • Once you pull them out of oven, place on serving platter and add the ricotta and chopped pistachios
  • You could add some mint as well
  • And finally, hit it with some fresh cracked pepper

Bacon Brussel Sprouts

  • 2lbs of brussels sprouts
  • Cut bacon into thumbnail-sized pieces and render until crispy in a heavy-bottom pan
  • Cut the brussels sprouts in half
  • Mix in the brussels sprouts with the bacon
  • Roast for 10-15 min at 450° until golden brown
  • Once done, squeeze some orange juice over them

Twice-Baked Cream Cheese Mashed Potatoes

  • Peel 6-8 large Yukon gold potatoes
  • Add them to a large pot in cold water
  • Add 3 tablespoons of kosher salt
  • Bring to a boil then simmer till fork tender
  • Strain potatoes, let steam for 3 mins to get any excess water off them
  • Add to mixing bowl, add half a bar of cream cheese and half pound of unsalted butter
  • Whip in a mixer until soft and silky add more salt if needed
  • Pour into a baking dish and bake for 15-20 mins at 450° until golden brown

Sweet Potato and Butternut Squash Mash

  • 3 medium-sized sweet potatoes
  • Half of a butternut squash
  • Cut sweet potato, butternut squash and 2 Yukon gold potatoes into large cubes and place into large pot in cold salted water
  • Bring to a boil, let simmer until fork tender
  • Strain and let steam same as the potatoes
  • Mix in the stand mixer, and add the butter, poultry seasoning, salt, and cinnamon to taste
  • Pour into baking dish and bake for 20-30 min at 450° until golden brown

Creamed Corn

  • 5 cups frozen corn
  • Cut onions into small dice, add to a med-sized sauce pan with 5 tablespoons of butter and cook until translucent
  • Add frozen corn and add 6 tablespoons of maple syrup, add heavy cream not covering the corn
  • bring to a boil and simmer for 20 mins
  • blend until blended nicely add more maple syrup or salt if needed


  • Half a loaf of 3-4 loaf of white bread
  • Dice onions and celery and cook until translucent in 1 lbs of unsalted butter, add 1 litre of chicken stock and 4 tablespoons of poultry seasoning
  • Cut white bread into cubes and layer bread in a casserole dish, pour butter onions and celery mixture over bread, layer stuffing until full. Make sure to add enough that it is not dry and still not soupy. You just want it wet enough to bake and brown and still be moist in the centre, roughly 45 min - 1hour at 450°

Cranberry Sauce

  • 2 packs of frozen cranberries
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • Zest and juice of 1 large orange
  • 1/2 cup of apple cinder
  • 2 tablespoons chopped thyme
  • 1 star anise
  • 1 pinch of salt
  • Boil for 15 mins and it's good to go


  • Pour all roasting juice from the turkey pan
  • Add equal parts 2 cups of each chicken stock and beef stock
  • Add a few sprigs of thyme, sage, and parsley
  • Boil and reduce by half strain and gravy is ready
  • Add some salt and fresh cracked pepper if needed