Why Do Sydney People Hate Sydney?

There’s something that happens when you show up from Melbourne and start talking to a Sydneysider about the city’s nightlife, fashion and general culture: most will be sympathetic - almost sorry that you’re there. They will lament the general “vibe” of the place, the apparent lack of a whole lot to do, the general… Sydney-ness.

“We know it’s shit,” is the general sentiment. 

To be clear: I don’t think it is. But that’s how I’ve heard Sydneysiders describe Sydney. I’ve also heard “Everyone in Melbourne is hot and effortlessly cool”, “The nightlife there just seems so great” and “I’m thinking of moving down there soon.”

It’s a strange phenomenon and it makes you wonder: why do Sydneysiders hate Sydney so much? Why do they bow down to the city of Melbourne? I know this isn’t everyone, but it’s common enough that I’ve found myself asking “why?”

Racking my brains, this is the only reason that seems to stick:

Sydney has a reputation as a hustler’s playground. Everyone wants to get off their goddam ass and work. It’s a city that, with strenuous systemic oppression of nightclubs and music, has become a place for the old and wealthy. A place where the rich and those with 20 side hustles are looked up to. If you don’t want to work, get out. 

It’s in the clothes, too. 

Even the best fashionistas somehow incorporate “young professional chic” into their wardrobes. It looks like they’ve raided their parents wardrobe. The style is clean, the make-up is perfect, the shoes are polished to a tee. It’s very old-person-professional-core. 

Melbourne, meanwhile, is so goddamn cold that as they enter the winter solstice you’ll rarely walk down the street without a young person complaining about seasonal depression, B.type personality disorders or anxiety. It makes sense, because creativity is said to stem out of the most disturbed minds. Creativity is the key word there. It’s what makes Melbourne go round.

There is an obvious thriving nightlife in Melbourne, untouched by seemingly incessant police dogs. The cohort’s young and they’re making things, going places, and adding something new to the conversation. It’s easy to see why a young Sydney person may be a bit distressed when living in Sydney feels like a bedroom to go to when you’ve been naughty, and Melbourne feels like a friend’s house party that you sneak out to. 

But Sydney isn’t all that bad. It really isn’t. Melbourne might seem cooler, but that facade is mostly because the cold makes everyone depressed (lol jks). 

Sydney is just a city of self-loathing.

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