While many Australians are spending the day nursing the lurking fear associated with the possible appointment of Peter Dutton—a misogynistic, anti-immigration, climate-change-denier—to Prime Minister, it might help to spare a thought for all the other poor people around the world named Peter Dutton. Some of them are having a particularly rough day. In fact there are 10 Peter Duttons with Twitter accounts and many of them have been receiving pretty heavy, misdirected DMs from understandably pissed off Australians.
Firstly we have Peter Dutton of Austin, Texas, who runs a wholesome popcorn company. After receiving a couple of messages meant for a politician with a history of making jokes about rising sea levels, he clarified, “I wish the people of Australia would look at my profile and realize I’m a 30 yr old black man before sending me tweets and DMs”.
In the time since, he has been mock offered and accepted the role of Australia’s PM by followers. One user added, “Hey @PeterDutton5 you’ve got the job – when can you start? If there’s one thing we need now it’s a young black dude in charge. Sick of old white racists calling the shot – and I’m old and white!”. To which popcorn Peter simply responded, “Lol! I gladly accept. First rule of business: racists must leave!”
Please can this guy actually be Prime Minister?
On Tuesday, when a Twitter user tagged Peter underscore Dutton in a post demanding that the Prime Minister stop playing games with “shits” Tony Abbot and Peter Dutton, this @Peter_Dutton, a Director at the China Maritime Studies Institute in Boston first responded in mock indignation writing, “I beg your pardon?!!!….I’ve been to Australia once, in 1998, and nothing that’s happened there since is my fault.”
And it doesn’t end there. When New York ‘Olympic Knifey-Spoony Medalist’ Peter Dutton received an angry message accusing him of having no interest in the Australian people, he responded, “You’re right, and yet the Australian people seem inordinately interested in me.”
And while we’re sorry for the inconvenience caused to all the other, presumably far nicer Peter Duttons out there, we thank them for providing perhaps the only silver lining to this brutal, messy saga.
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