I'm not sure if this story about Barack Obama is actually racist or just really disturbing, but we're going to run it through the This Week in Racism "Racism-o-Meter" anyway, and see what comes out. With the assistance of my friends at the @YesYoureRacist Twitter account, I’ll be ranking this and other news stories on a scale of 1 to RACIST, with “1” being the least racist and “racist” being the most racist.
According to testimony given during the prostitution trial of his three former aides, Italy's former prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was alleged to have dressed women up like Barack Obama and then had them perform stripteases. Now, I am not here to debate the erotic merits of President Obama, nor am I here to question the sexual preferences of Silvio Berlusconi. I am here to wonder if these women wore blackface. Also, what about those giant fucking ears he has? Fake mole? I think this is one of those "teachable moments" I've heard so much about lately. I'm giving this a 2, because I'm genuinely still totally fucking confused.
- Police in Agoura Hills, California, are looking for someone who spray-painted racist graffiti on the walls of the local high school. The message included the phrase “Ni**ers will die,” which school officials erased without telling students or parents. Two days later, students showed up to school to find a “hit list” of African American students painted on the bathroom wall. They're right though. Ni**ers will die. Unfortunately, so will everyone else one day. RACIST
- This is the logo for a food truck in Los Angeles. I don't know why this is in here other than it made me laugh. Also, I've often fantasized about slapping my own mother.
- In Great Britain, a newly elected councillor representing the UK Independence Party—which goes out of the way to say it’s “not racist”—found himself in hot water after sharing on Facebook a cartoon depicting Muslims being burned at the stake using copies of the Quran. "I don’t have a racist bone in my body,” said Eric Kitson of Stourport-on-Severn. “It's just a bit of bloody stupidity." Kitson added that he has “several Muslim friends,” which of course automatically disqualifies someone from being Islamophobic, as everyone knows. Also, I don't think bones can be racist. What would a "racist bone" even look like? A bunch of swastikas on a femur? 8
- Last week we told you about Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation analyst who once wrote that Hispanics are genetically predisposed to have lower IQs than “native white Americans.” Ignoring the fact that there’s no such thing as a “native white American,” Richwine’s assertion that Hispanics are genetically inferior is pretty much a textbook example of racism. Even the Heritage Foundation agreed, firing Richwine soon after the writing was made public. But Richwine still doesn’t see how his assertion could be racist, , "The idea that I am some sort of foaming-at-the-mouth extremist never even crossed my mind." Probably not, but then again, I've heard Chris Brown thought he was just "explaining things" to Rihanna's face. Richwine added, "The accusation of racism is one of the worst things that anyone can call you in public life." I can think of a few things that are worse, such as being told your entire race is inferior… but what would Richwine know about that? RACIST
Jason Richwine's best friend, Ann Coulter, receives this week’s Ann Coulter Award for Excellence in Racism for this:
We've already established that Jason Richwine is a huge racist prick who has no sense of shame. The fact that Ann Coulter feels the intense need to paint a total asshole as a victim is one of those twisted pieces of logic that makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.
@YesYoureRacist’s 10 Most Racist Retweets of the Week [all grammar sic'd]:
10. @Jay_Flo6: “I'm not racist, but I couldn't date a white girl if she has messed with a black guy. #NoRacismIntended”
9. @Cal_E_Boi: “I'm not racist but as soon as I see a black man under the age of 25 driving a BMW I immediately shout drug dealer”
8. @RodeoPrincesss: “Im not racist but black people and white people just dont make cute couples.”
7. @bmill98: “Im not racist…but jews make themselves pretty easy to hate”
6. @2_jayyyz: “I'm no racist but I hate, hate, HATE, wet backs”
5. @SashaDaniels: “I'm not racist but im actually terrified of Jews”
4. @toriiiiz: “I'm not a racist but I f*cking hate middle eastern guys.”
3. @Mattt_Lee: “I'm not racist but that group of chinks can f*ck off. Twats.”
2. @graceegregory: “I'm not racist, but I understand where Hitler was coming from.”
1. @AlifNorazmii: “I'm not racist but ni**er really stink!!!”
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