THE ROYAL WEDDING 2K18

The Poshest Stuff We Overheard at the Royal Wedding

"We just saw 'The Princess Diaries' on a big screen and now we're ready to watch it for real."
Photo: Andy Myatt/Alamy Stock Photo

A young couple got married in Windsor on Saturday, and 18 million people tuned in to watch.

Wandering the streets around Windsor Castle during Harry and Meghan's big day were a mix of bemused American tourists; hardline Royalists who'd been camping out for a spot since 5AM; blonde boys in Hollister button-ups chatting about how Harry is "just one of the lads, really"; and a contingent of international Princess Diana super-fans – who, apparently, do still exist.

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From the first hiss of lukewarm cans of Pimm's opening at 8AM, to the tourists and D-list celebrities still hanging around hours after the procession, here's the most ridiculous stuff we overheard in Windsor on the day of the Royal Wedding.

"I'm so excited about this wedding it's breaking me right now."

"I won a Prince Harry lookalike competition and get free flights for a year. Going to Tenerife next month."

"Do you think the Queen eats Nando's, though?"

"I play at Windsor cricket ground, so you could say this isn’t my first time around the royals."

* referring to police getting cheered by the public * "If we were in the States right now they’d be throwing rocks at them for sure."

"How does that photo look? Do I look like a Royal tart?"

"I've got a shit-load of weddings to go to this summer. This isn’t even the one I’m most excited about."

"We just saw The Princess Diaries on a big screen and now we're ready to watch it for real."

"You can't walk around wearing a Prince George mask as a grown-up, that's just wrong."

"I just paid £4.99 for an ice cream."

"What's all this about queue-jumping, then?"

"I'm just thinking about how many people need to die for Meghan to become Queen."
"It would be a bloodbath."

"There's a lot of people here crying about Trump, and I don’t have time for it. Meanwhile, in America, we're obsessed with the royals and Meghan."

"It’s all going to end in divorce, you know."

@jackcummings92