Why You Should Think First Before Buying a 'Homeless' Person a Burger

Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. Don't offer a senior citizen discount to someone you think looks old. Don't take a wild guess at the gender of a baby. You don't need to be Jerry Seinfeld to know that social interactions in today's politically correct climate can be befuddling.

To the list above, we can now add a new rule: If you see a poorly dressed, disheveled person sucking the shit out of free ketchup from a dispenser at your local fast food joint, don't just assume he or she is homeless.

If you do so, you may feel the pain of Claire Varin, a 33-year-old Brit who recently bought a McDonald's meal for a man she was sure was homeless and in need. Except that he wasn't. He just really likes to consume free ketchup while he waits for his order. You know, like a delightfully no fuss amuse-bouche.

According to The Independent, a woman was left "mortified" after she found out that she had done a charitable good deed for a perfectly ordinary customer awaiting his meal. The ketchup-coated McDonald's is located in Halifax town center. The gentleman in question was unshaven and carrying a backpack. And, yes, he was eating ketchup from the communal dispenser—the one with the little cups.

Ms. Varin bought the seemingly downtrodden fellow a meal as an attempted gesture of kindness. According to reports, as she placed the charitable offering in front of the man, a staff member brought over the meal the dude had already ordered and apologized for the wait.

"I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment," she said. "To be honest, my imagination ran away with me. 'Had this poor man been out on the streets all night? Was this the only food he would eat all day?'"

File this one under: no good deed goes unpunished.

Ms. Varin explains further: "Maybe he had no money and was starving. I thought, only desperation could lead someone to eat ketchup."

Was Varin's imagination to blame for her embarrassment? Ketchup is a pretty good thing, but you would have to be of a particularly disturbed nature to be publically double fisting ketchup packets like some sort of condiment king.

She continues: "I felt really sorry for him. It was a very cold morning and I thought how can I sit here with this meal and leave him sat there with just ketchup?"

Now, poor Ms. Varin is afraid to return to her local McD's: "I really enjoy a McDonald's breakfast now and again, but I think I'll have to give that store a miss in the mornings in case I see that man again."

Imagine how our ketchup-loving diner must be feeling. Then again, maybe all that ketchup has dulled the pain.

Sure, Ms. Varin's story is embarrassing in and of itself, but once the Internet got hold of it, well, the tale rose to a new level. Call it "Steve Harvey embarrassing". The Daily Mail has even asked its readers to write in and let them know the following: "Did Claire try to buy you a McDonald's? Email news@mailonline.co.uk."

So here's warning to all of you out there, and we say this with peace and love, not wanting to curtail any charitable impulses you may have: if you make an offering to a homeless person, do yourself a favor. Make sure the recipient is truly in need.

After all, the object of your charitable urges might just really, really like ketchup.