"I don't get why you didn't just get on a hyper-competitive graduate programme if you hate your temp job so much? It's what I did, and even though you and I spent almost every second of uni together – the ten-egg omelette, the belly buster breakfast after the third-year ball, the doomed overnight trip to Thorpe Park in my Corsa – I still ended up somehow finding secret hours and minutes to actually study and apply myself and get five to ten marks more than you in every essay and exam we took, then simply moved to London and joined a hyper-competitive graduate programme and stopped wearing Rick & Morty T-shirts and now just immediately own three suits!
"I don't know why you had to get a credit card to augment your overdraft so you could buy pints this month, I just earned a bonus and put it straight into my savings! I'm not sure I'm going to sign a 12-month extension on this place as I might be in a position to buy next summer! The! Working! Poor! Need! To! Simply! Learn! To! Help! Them! Selves!"