There Are Actually 8 Love Languages, According to This Unique Dating Site

Hear ye! Hear ye! [trumpet sounds] The ‘Sage of Seeking.com’ decrees, three new love languages there be! Huzzah! [record scratch] And why does Seeking.com get to make this call? Well, as you may or may not know, Seeking.com is a newly rebranded iteration of the platform formerly known as Seeking Arrangements, the luxury sugar daddy-sugar baby connector that recently informed us where to find the hottest, richest bachelors in the US, in case you’re in search of one. But back to those new love languages (which, surprisingly, do not include “riding on a six-foot-four hedge fund manager’s yacht”). 

If you’re not familiar with the original five love languages, you can always take a quiz online to determine which one you align with (which feels like the fun, early days of the Internet). But in short, they are: “Acts of Service,” “Receiving Gifts,” “Quality Time,” “Words of Affirmation,” and “Physical Touch,” which are relatively self-explanatory. TL;DR: People have different ways of expressing love, and if you aren’t aware of how you yourself or your partner express love, you might think they don’t appreciate you, or vice versa. So…What are languages six, seven, and eight? Just wait until you hear. 

“Hey man, do you ever think about stuff in a deep and meaningful way? Because chicks are, like, totally into that… crazy, I know.” That happens to be love language #7 (“Healthy Debate”), in which Seeking.com concluded that “the fire of intellectual debate can fuel a relationship beyond its early stages, and make for a lasting, passionate connection that stands the test of time.” Seeking.com conducted a survey in which “Ph.D. candidates receive 30% more interaction than any other degree type.” Got it. We’re really stretching the data, but you know—it makes sense that if you have more than just surface-level conversations with your partner, it’s probably a good sign for your relationship. Satan himself is gripping the bar.

Have you been on a trip yet with your significant other? If you didn't want to murder them in their sleep, congratulations! Your love language is #6 (“Shared Travel”). Yes, babe, your nomadic, bi-coastal, work-from-wherever lifestyle is thriving. Maybe you’re in love; maybe you and your partner just have remote jobs and get paid a lot of money to work in different parts of an Airbnb. Either way, hats off to your relationship. We do find it funny, how Seeking.com differentiates “shared travel” from “quality time”; according to Seeking.com, this language is “about discovering something for the first time together, about adventure, about risk, about experience. This can bring you closer, or it can equally shift the relationship towards breaking.” Go ahead, take that step, you’ll know if it’s right after visiting your significant other’s family in Idaho. 

Last but not least, love language #8: “Goal Sharing.” [Mind explodes…] Wild concept that you would want to share the same ideas and values as your “forever person,” but hell ya, let’s make that a love language! We’ve got nothing to lose! To quote Seeking.com: “It’s a love language that involves bettering your significant other in some way, and gaining joy from seeing them succeed in their life and career when you have had a personal hand in it.” Please, lord, give me strength. 

Wait…these new love languages just look like the bare minimum involved with actually liking someone enough to be in a relationship with them, am I right? Is the bar in hell? (Yes, yes it is). But kudos to Seeking—they’re out here doing the work, tricking men into small doses of therapy. 

Live, laugh, love (languages), y’all.

Learn more about Seeking.com and its look at love languages here.

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