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Will You Get Booed At Burning Man? Here's an Extremely Helpful Chart

It helps if your name is not Skrillex or Diplo.
September 3, 2014, 3:41am
Epic burn, dude

Over the weekend, a guest speaker at the annual conference on radical self-reliance and self-expression known as Burning Man was booed off stage after daring to challenge the burner ethos. Alright, alright, we're talking about Diplo joining Skrillex on the Robot Heart stage, where his decision to drop "Turn Down For What" was allegedly met with a roar of disapproval.

But why would the Burning Man crowd hate on Diplo for playing DJ Snake and Lil Jon's ratchet anthem—a song whose popularity is testified by the fact that it has 100 million YouTube views to date? Put yourself in their shoes. You've spent thousands of dollars to escape from the evil capitalist system for a week. Instead of spending money, you're getting by on a "gifting economy"—trading face massages for LSD-laced Tiki cocktails while dancing naked on a steampunk pirate ship blasting non-stop Lee Curtiss. The last thing you want to hear is a reminder of your feeble existence back in "real life," and especially not that one sad date you had recently in a beer-soaked college bar where "Turn Down For What" was on a fifteen-minute rotation.

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You want to listen to music that is uplifting yet deep… psychedelic yet euphoric… something that will blast you out of your kombucha high and into the trellised heavens. You want to listen to… Seth Troxler. Except that, according to reports, Seth Troxler "refused to play after his entourage was denied access to join him behind the decks." Which is why Diplo and Skrillx (collectively known as Jack U) were slotted in at the last minute.

All of this brouhaha left us wondering… who among us is safe from the boos of Burning Man? Can anyone know, for sure, where the ire of Black Rock City will turn to next?

To answer these burning questions, we decided to come up with a very helpful flowchart:

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