This post originally appeared on VICE UK
Cool Sociology Teacher news now, and a Cool Sociology Teacher at Varndean College in Brighton has had a Cool Sociology Teacher idea: Hey kids, let's go observe the primitive working class in their native environment by going to a Millwall game! Cool Sociology Teacher has a bongo at his house. Cool Sociology Teacher had a year out to, like, find himself? In South America? Cool Sociology Teacher only cut the braids out of his ponytail when his army dad threatened to write him out of the will if he didn't. Woah kids, do you like reggae! Ganja style! Let's go down the Den and try not to get extremely beaten up!
Yeah: As the Sun reports, pupils at the sixth form college are being offered the chance to attend tomorrow night's undoubtedly naughty matchup between Millwall and Brighton, where they can "enjoy a delicious pie," wash it down with "a cup of tea, or a nice warm beefy Bovril," and then take their notebooks and their copies of Webb and Westegaard's AS Sociology: The Complete Course and make some real as hell observations about the bottom rungs of the social class.
Gasp! As a man with a tattoo of the St. George's Cross on his skull bottles someone for calling him a cunt!
Marvel! As someone somehow manages to smuggle their weapon dog into the stadium and feed him some bones!
Or just! Don't make assumptions about soccer fans and what they may or may not do at a soccer match!
According to the poster billing the event (just £18.25 [nearly $30] with your NUS card), students will have the opportunity to watch gender performance in action, as well as racism, a cheeky bit of homophobia, some hyper masculinity and an exemplar of working-class culture, to boot. I mean, you could feasibly get that exact same experience hanging out at the Slug and Fiddle in Canary Wharf, but I suppose it doesn't do pies.
The plan, obviously, has come under fire on Twitter, because everything comes under fire on Twitter these days: That's 2014. Some are saying the whole thing smacks of classism. Others don't reckon the pies are up to much scratch at the Millwall ground. But most of all, it's a bit "them and us", isn't it? A bit, "Come, lords and ladies, gather round, and watch as these brainless pig men get angry at Ricardo Fuller for shanking another sitter over the bar!"
The College's head of sociology, Rad Pete Bailey, told the paper: "Students are expected to study the relationship of identity to gender and social class among other things, also the relationship between leisure activities and identity." He then really solemnly pointed to the framed photo of Bob Marley on his desk and added: "Going to the football provides an opportunity to look at some of these things."
Maybe Pete has a point. It's entirely possible the sociology group are planning additional trips, to see other classes in their native environment: a visit to Kirstie Allsopp's house to watch her make her own pasta, or a New Year trip to whichever brothel is nearest to the Houses of Parliament. But more likely they'll just go and watch the Millwall match, trudge back with all their preconceptions intact, and then write it up into a neat 500-word essay for a low B mark.
Follow Joel Golby on Twitter.