Disgraced UKIP Councillor of the Week: Jeremy Zeid, Who Called for Israel to Kidnap Obama Then Got Mad At ‘Informers’ When He Was Fired

About once a week, a UKIP councillor puts one or both feet in their mouth so hard they either have to be disciplined or dismissed. This column is a quasi-regular effort to keep track of such people in the run-up to the General Election.

Who? Jeremy Zeid.

Where? Hendon, a suburb in the London Borough of Barnet, right on the cusp of Zone 3 and 4. Nobody has ever been there.

What's He Done? He suggested that Israel kidnap President Obama (once he's served his term) (I mean let the man finish the job first) and "do an Eichmann" on him, which, if you're not up on your military history, means capture him via the Mossad, put him on trial for war crimes and eventually hang him.

Did He Actually Say That? Really? Yeah, and he said it in that sort of complicated way that dads who read too many war books and do too many crosswords while laid up on the sofa nursing their piles say things. "Once Obama is out of office, the Israelis should move to extradite the bastard or 'do an Eichmann' on him, and lock him up for leaking state secrets. After all what's sauce for the Pollard goose is sauce for the Obama gander, don't you think?" he said. "Just kidnap the bugger, like they did to Eichman, who suddenly found that he'd woken up in Israel. The problem is that Israeli jails are far more humane and adherent to human rights than American ones."

What Did UKIP HQ Do? Printed out that "Can you respectfully not do that" letter template they surely have by now ("Do you know where the templa—" "It's saved on the desktop, Sheila, I told you that when we needed it last week. It's under TOO_WHITE_TO_FUNCTION.docx") and sent it to him. Zeid resigned late last week, citing his health.

How Has His Reaction Been? The worst. He started by telling the Jewish Chronicle that he stood by his comments, saying, "Remember that phrase 'Je Suis Charlie'? - well, freedom of speech," which, sadly, isn't even the first time the right wing has co-opted that post-massacre message of support – EDL protesters in Dudley in February wore "Je Suis Charlie" T-shirts because the base reaction of the right wing to the events in Paris seems to be "This is good merchandise, this. Better print quality than the shite we come up with. Also, the central message is "it's OK to say 'paki shop', so that's going in the wardrobe."

Then What? Then, today, Zeid took to his private Facebook account to call out whoever leaked his bad opinions to the press, and the person who leaked his bad opinions to the press promptly leaked his second wave of bad opinions to the press. "I see that the TROLLS are out again, the INFORMERS and the HATERS out to make mischief, because they are too COWARDLY to speak and instead like the vermin they are, ooze out of the shadows to get someone else to do their dirty work before slithering back under their rocks to hide from the fallout," Purple Rain reports him as saying. "As for the sneak, the squealer, the 'informer', the parasitic tapeworm infesting the bowel of society … you know who you are, the one who'd eagerly shop his grandmother for a tin of jam, just like the Poles did to the Jews, I'd like to think that what goes around comes around, kharma if you like." What's that sound? It's the sound of the entire blood pressure pill industry handing out bonuses to its CEOs. "We did it, lads," they're saying, over champagne brunches. "We made a former UKIP councillor so mad we never have to work again."

Zeid then added: "NOW, you malignant nematode infested SLUG whoever you are, screenshot THIS and leak it to the Press. THIS is Free Speech and it's MINE." Man, this dude can mouth off. Seriously, get Zeid in a rap battle with Skepta, or something. It would give him a legitimate outlet in which to say the N-word and would be twice as entertaining as the TV debates. He sounds like the monster from Ghostbusters, ffs.

What Next for Zeid? Hard to tell. Oblivion? He's quit politics because "people focus on the minutiae" but with that kind of heart palpation-level of linguistic rage he could probably be a sort of right-wing Russell Brand. Get thee to YouTube, Jeremy Zeid.

What Next for UKIP? Oh, they'll just try to fart their way through to the General Election without imploding in a fit of ale and 45-minute monologues about how it's not a pie unless it's got a pastry base and a pastry lid.

@joelgolby

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