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A Birthday Letter To Michael Stipe [Bad Pun Warning]

We hope Mr. Stipe can still “Stand” us after this.
January 4, 2013, 6:22pm

It’s been over a year since R.E.M. disbanded, but we’ve still been enthralled with Michael Stipe’s active Tumblr and the artistic works of the former frontman, many of which he discusses in the video above.

After a busy holiday season of surprise performances of “Losing My Religion” and singing duets with both Saul Berenson and Inigo Montoya on The Colbert Report, Michael Stipe celebrates his 53rd birthday today.

To wish him a happy birthday, we’ve slapped together this little tribute letter that is sure to delight and annoy Mr. Stipe in equal parts, mainly because we’ve turned REM’s classic song titles into really bad wordplay.

Dear Mr. Stipe,

Happy Birthday! Even thought we’re “Half A World Away” over here in Brooklyn, we sincerely hope you’re spending your special day surrounded by “Shiny Happy People.” Just pop open a refreshing “Orange Crush” and ignore any and all bummers in your life, because as you know better than anyone, “Everybody Hurts,” but soon after “Sweetness Follows.” By the way, are you going to wear that really great “Hairshirt” of yours? We’re not sure where you got it or what type of “Strange Currencies” were required to purchase it, but it looks awesome on you. Lastly, if you’re going to drink today, please avoid the impulse to do any “Night Swimming.”


The Creators Project