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London's Last Sex Cinema Is Set to Close

Goodnight, sweet prince.

A cinema, but not the sex cinema mentioned herein. Just a regular old cinema with no jizz on everything. (image via Wikipedia)

Good god, is nothing sacred? Mere days after the UK was hurled to the wolves by your grandma, it's been announced that London's last sex cinema is set to close down.

Club 487 – somewhere we've visited multiple times since its hushed opening in January of last year – is shutting down after a protracted legal battle. A dark little building in the basement of an old printing shop in New Cross, south east London, Club 487 has been the subject of a number of complaints from local councillors and the building's neighbours, which include a secondary school and a church.


A spokesperson for the New Cross Baptist Church, across the road from Club 487, said the cinema closing was "simply an answer to [their] prayers". But what about the people who used this place as their refuge, their chapel? Where are they going to go now for a pint and a wank?

Never fear: the staff of the cinema havetaken to their website to assure punters that they are seeking alternative venues, writing: "We are looking for new premises to open up a new place, and as soon as we do it will be put on here."

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