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FA Banning Nights Out After Rooney Gets Shitfaced

Players won't be able to drink while on international duty and will face a curfew, as well.

So, Wayne Rooney had a good night
— The Sun Football (@TheSunFootball) November 16, 2016

In a move reminiscent of the 1980s, when autocratic federations thought players should be robots, the FA is banning English players from going out at night when they're up on international duty. Why? Because Wayne Rooney got caught crashing a wedding on a night off by the press, and ten more players were drinking into the wee hours.


On Monday, The Sun published a photo of Rooney allegedly on a "boozy bender" at the team's hotel after he was invited into a private wedding there by guests. The picture was taken the night after England's win over Scotland.

Rooney apologized to the FA and interim England coach Gareth Southgate, and could even be stripped of his captaincy, but there was still much hand-wringing about those alleged other ten drinkers.

The Sun reported, "It was understood that several more aces went to a local nightclub where they partied till 4.30am on Sunday — the day they had been told to report back."

Now, this sounds like a drama perfect for the English tabloids, and the players are getting their comeuppance. The FA released a statement that read, in part, "we will be reviewing our policy around free time whilst on international duty." Players will still reportedly have free time while on international duty, but not whole nights off, the BBC reports. Surely, this will teach those unruly kids about the dangers of drinking.

But you know who doesn't seem to give a bleep? Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp. Rooney got caught pounding back a few at a wedding? Who cares, he says.

"I feel sorry for the players," Klopp said. "We live on the sunny side of life, but in the end maybe it is a surprise there is a human being behind the kid. This generation is the most professional generation of footballers we have ever had—not only in England. All the legends you admire, they drank like devils and smoked like crazy and were still good players. Nobody does that any more.

"I've no idea where Wayne was but I'm pretty sure it was not that serious."

Jose Mourinho, Rooney's manager at Manchester United, on the other hand, "was said to be unhappy with the situation," according to the BBC.