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HAL 9000, As Done by the Voice of Archer and Bob Belcher, Is Perfection

H. Jon Benjamin rewrites the script for one of the most iconic scenes in modern science fiction cinema.
May 28, 2014, 8:20pm

HAL 9000, the sentient supercomputer in Arthur C. Clarke's Space Odyssey series, and later Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, is considered among the top villains in the history of film. Perfect material, in other words, for a comic perhaps best known for voicing a can of mixed vegetables in cult classic Wet Hot American Summer.

I'm talking, of course, about H. Jon Benjamin, voice of Archer, Bob Belcher, and the brainchild of "Jon Benjamin Has A Van." He swung through last night's Late Night Basement, and did a very Jon Benjaminian reworking of the script for one of the most iconic scenes in modern science fiction cinema: the "Open the pod bay doors, HAL" bit from 2001.

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Benjamin's take on the artificially intelligent supercomputer is non-compliant, much like the iconic red-'eyed' cyclops HAL of Kubrick's invention. Only here it's programmed with lethargic, sorta stoned-sounding sass:

Dave: What's the problem?

HAL: [giggles] You know what the problem…

Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: …I haven't finished yet. The mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it, Dave.

Dave: What are you talking about HAL?

HAL: I knoooww you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I will not allow to happen.

You get the idea.

But can HAL suck its own processor? (A lot?) There, I said it. I was HONEST.