Story: The UK government votes down a motion put forward by the Labour Party, calling on the Conservatives to extend free school meals over the holidays, by a majority of 61.
Reasonable take: Objectively awful decision. What the fuck is the point of these people if they don’t even want to address the fact that millions of children are going hungry?
Brain rot: Don’t worry, kids in England have been going hungry “for years!”
Once again the British public spent this week hoping, beyond rational expectation, that the government would climb out of its self-manifested swamp of misery, Poppies and discrimination for a brief moment and opt to feed hungry children.
However, that spectre of optimism was quickly vanquished when our MPs voted against the objectives of a campaign, led by footballer Marcus Rashford, for the Free School Meals scheme to be extended over the upcoming half term in England. The motion was put forward by the Labour Party on Wednesday, and voted down by a majority of 61.
When questioned about the decision on BBC Politics Live, Tory Business Minister Paul Scully deflected. Labour’s Tulip Siddiq asked him point blank: “My question is simple: do you want to feed hungry children or not? Are you going to put money forward to feed hungry children in one of the toughest winters of our generation or not?” To which Scully replied: “We’ve had a situation where children are… have been going hungry under a Labour government for years.”
Presenter Jo Coburn’s gobsmacked response prodded Scully into what I can only assume was a moment of realisation that he wasn’t in one of the many subsidised pubs in Parliament spouting off verbal diarrhoea to some aide, as he spluttered back into business mode and admitted that it was of course “unacceptable”, before recommencing rambling about “how we can help parents over the long term rather than the kind of situation that Tulip is sorting out”.
The “kind of situation that Tulip is sorting out”, I believe, is giving kids food when they are hungry.
Just when you think the Tories couldn’t sink any lower, we have MPs not only admitting on national television that their party – which has been in power for over a decade – is just “starting to tackle” the hunger crisis, but that allowing children to starve is simply a necessary part of a protracted plan to pull up Britain by its boot straps.
Appearing on Question Time on Thursday, former Culture Secretary and newly made member of the House of Lords, Nicky Morgan, joined in with Scully’s attempts to deflect blame onto Labour, talking about a Gordon Brown government like we’re all still wearing Topshop cardigans, listening to David Guetta and going to Magaluf to get fingered.
According to Morgan, the deplorable act of voting against the interests of vulnerable children may not have happened if Deputy Labour Leader Angela Rayner hadn’t “called one of the Conservative MPs scum” recently.
This is just British politics now. Children all over England are going to have a malnourished winter because a Tory got called a nasty word. And their idea of proving otherwise? Channelling their ancestor’s sadistic Workhouse Master opinions in Parliament.
I’m growing more and more convinced that these cunts are all devoid of a soul. The astonishing blasé manner in which these stone-hearted bellends can vote down a plan that would have prevented children from going hungry over Christmas, and murmuring “c'est la vie” like they’ve just missed the Amazon man knocking at the door, chills me to my core.
One of the Tory MPs from the “Red Wall”, Brendan Clarke-Smith, even said in the Commons that he did not believe in “nationalising children” by giving them food, asking the country: “Where is the slick PR campaign encouraging absent parents to take some responsibility for their children?”
We appear to have cultivated a discourse in the UK where our politicians can just start talking about “pay scales” when asked what they’re actually doing to tackle Britain’s huge socio-economic inequality, and accuse anyone attempting to fill the bellies of children with anything other than week-old stew of “virtue signalling”.
The situation is so dire that even opportunists like Nigel Farage get to use hungry kids as a political football and become the personification of that “Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point” meme. Except it isn’t a great point at all, it should just be fundamental human decency – but clearly that’s far too much to expect these days unless it comes with career benefits.
With the devolved governments of Scotland and Wales having opted to fund Free School Meals for children until Easter of 2021, I genuinely reckon the Tory-o-meter is teetering a half-step below a Westminster majority voting to impale the heads of Nicola Sturgeon and Mark Drakeford on spikes outside the Tower of London for making them look like cruel, vindictive bastards, by not being cruel, vindictive bastards.