Everyone in the world is turning into an entitled psychopath, which led to a massive surplus in the 2013 cry-baby market. It was a crowded field out there this year, and while it's true that all of the contenders were infantile and pathetic, who was the biggest cry-baby of them all? We'll let you decide.
Below are the ten cry-babies who received the most votes over the last year. Cast your vote for the worst of the worst at the bottom of this page to decide who will receive the Cry-Baby of the Year trophy pictured above.
Cry-Baby #1: Olga Rozhoav
The incident: A teacher saved a class of children from a burning building.
The appropriate response: Congratulating her. Possibly even giving her some kind of award or a medal or something.
The actual response: She was fired.
Back in July, Michelle Hammack was working at Little Temples Childcare in Jacksonville, Florida.
While her children were taking their afternoon nap, Michelle smelled burning and went to investigate. In the daycare's kitchen, she discovered a small fire in the oven. When she opened the oven door, the smoke caused the fire alarm to go off.
She went back to her classroom, woke up her kids, and led them outside to safety.
As other teachers did a head count, Michelle went back inside the building to make sure there were no children left. While inside, she realized that the fire was small enough for her to deal with, and extinguished it herself.
When she went to work the next day, she was fired.
Speaking to Action News Jackson, Olga Rozhoav, the owner of the daycare said, “I fired her only because she left her room. Even though children are sleeping, the teachers are supposed to be there. It’s not acceptable, and if anybody else does the same thing, I will fire again. I will fire them. No question.”
Cry-Baby #2: Austin Davis
The incident: Someone farted in a car.
The appropriate response: Either laughing or being quietly repulsed, depending on how fun you are.
The actual response: Unable to determine which of his three children was responsible for the fart, Austin Davis (pictured above) beat all of them.
Earlier this year, Austin, whose head is shaped exactly like an upturned dreidel, was driving with his three children in DeLand, Florida. At some point during the journey, one of the kids farted.
Austin flew into a rage, and demanded to know which of the kids was responsible. All three refused to talk (go kids!), so Austin removed his belt and beat them with it (boooooo, dad!).
A female relative took photos of the children's injuries and gave them to local police, who arrested Austin and charged him with three counts of aggravated battery.
According to police, the photos showed a six-year-old with "dark bruising to the legs, buttocks, and thighs," a 12-year-old with "dark bruises on his legs and thighs," and a nine-year-old refused to have pictures of his bruises taken because he feared retaliation if his dad found out he'd told on him.
Cry-Baby #3: Kimberly Hall
The incident: A woman thought that some girls her sons were friends with on Facebook were dressed too provocatively.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: She went on to her sons' profiles and blocked all of the girls she thought were too slutty from their accounts.
Last week, Christian blogger Kimberly Hall wrote a blog post called "FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)." The blog post, which is in the form of an open letter, is addressed to the female friends of her three teenage sons (pictured above).
She opens the letter with the not-at-all-creepy revelation that she and her family sometimes spend the evening looking through the Facebook pictures of her sons' female friends. "Dear girls," she wrote. "I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos."
However, recently she has been noticing a startling, slutty new trend with the photos teenage girls are posting: "It appears that you are not wearing a bra. I get it—you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know."
Then she drops some hard biology facts on the reader, "I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want [my sons] to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?"
And this has left her with only one choice: she is blocking any girl who she sees posting anything she deems inappropriate, "in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video—even once—you’ll be booted off our on-line island."
For some reason, she thinks this is punishment for the blocked girls, because being blocked by her means they will never get a chance to be married to one of her three super desirable sons, "Every day I pray for the women my boys will love. I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient—and act honorably—while they wait for her."
But there's hope. She ends the letter, which, amazingly, is accompanied by a picture of her sons with no shirts on, by offering the women who haven't yet been blocked a chance to redeem themselves: "Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do—don’t fret—I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom."
So, if anyone reading this is friends with any of these kids, what're you waiting for? RUN and delete those pictures of yourselves in towels and pajamas. If you play your cards right, maybe you can one day have this fucking nutcase as a mother-in-law.
Cry-Baby #4: Diana Medley
The incident: A school prom was organized and gay students who attend the school were invited.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: A teacher joined forces with some students, parents, and other dickheads to organize their own separate, straights-only prom.
In February, a special education teacher named Diana Medley at Sullivan High School in Sullivan, Indiana announced she was organizing a straights-only prom as an alternative to the school's official, inclusive one. Speaking to a local news channel about the bigoted event, Diana (pictured above, visibly evil) said, "we don't agree with homosexuality. It's offensive to us."
Diana, who is probably also a secret racist, then added, “I don’t believe they were born that way, I think life circumstances made them choose that. I think God made everybody equal… I have kids come to me because of their sexual preference. And they know I don’t agree with it, but care about them. And the same thing for special needs. God puts those people in our life for special reasons.”
Diana was then asked if she felt gay people had a purpose in life, to which she responded, "I personally don't, I'm sorry."
Speaking of the prom, futuristically-named high school student Kynon Johnson said that the bigoted group hoped to make their prom a "good prom," that would get "more people to follow what they believe."
As a result of her comments, Diana was suspended by the school district.
Cry-Baby #5: James Ruiz
The incident: A drunk driver caused a car crash that killed two teenage girls.
The appropriate response: Prison, a lifetime of remorse.
The actual response: The drunk driver sued a bunch of people, claiming that he wasn't responsible for the accident.
The crash happened back in 2010, when James Ruiz (pictured above) drove his friend's truck into a car carrying Deshauna Peshlakai, 17, and Del Lynn Peshlakai, 19, killing both of them. At the time of the crash, James was nearly three times over the legal drinking limit.
This was made even more illegal by the fact that James was out on parole at the time, awaiting trial for his fourth DUI.
He was convicted of vehicular manslaughter and sentenced to 40 years in prison. During the trial, he attempted to pass blame on to the district attorney, saying that if they hadn't taken so long to imprison him for the other DUIs, he would not have been free to cause the accident.
He's currently serving his sentence at the Western New Mexico Correctional Facility. Which is where, back in March, he filed several lawsuits from.
The first targets of his lawsuit spree were Applebee's and the Blue Corn Cafe, which are the two restaurants where he was drinking the night of the crash. He claims that the restaurants, by agreeing to serve him alcohol, generated "mental anguish," "emotional distress," and "loss of enjoyment of life."
Next up was his friend (well, probably ex-friend by now) Gilbert Mendoza, who James claims was negligent in allowing him to drive his truck while drunk (which he definitely was, though James doesn't deserve to get any money out of it).
And, finally, in another lawsuit, James sued his attorney, because he thinks his sentence is too harsh.
Cry-Baby #6: Michelle Rowlinson
The incident: A boy went into a store to buy Band-Aids for his friend who had fallen over.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: The boy's mother contacted her local newspaper to complain that her son had been forced to pay for the Band-Aids.
In early September, 12-year-old Charlie Rowlinson was out playing with his 13-year-old friend Ed in Stapenhill, England. At some point, Ed fell and gashed his knee.
Charlie and Ed went to a local shop called Wendy's News to buy Band-Aids and a bottle of water to rinse the wound. As is standard practice in shops, they were charged a monetary amount ($1.50) in exchange for the goods.
Charlie then went home and told his mother Michelle what had happened. Outraged that her son had been forced to take part in a system that has existed for the last 100,000 years or so, Michelle contacted her local paper, The Burton Mail, to complain it.
“In my opinion it’s disgraceful that they charged him to clean himself up when he went in hurt," she told the paper. “If he had come to my house, I wouldn’t have charged him for water."
The Burton Mail contacted the shop, and, for some reason, owner Karen Taylor felt she had to defend herself: “My mom was working at the time. She said the two boys came into the shop and asked if we had any plasters [Band-Aids]. She took them into the corner and showed them the plasters, so I assumed they wanted to pay for them as they had already got the money out."
They didn’t ask for help. They came back in and asked for tissues, and she told him to help himself to some kitchen roll on the side. He then came back in and bought a bottle of water.”
Cry-Baby #7: William Leak
The incident: A man was fired from his job as a caretaker.
The appropriate response: Nothing, if your dismissal was warranted. Seeking legal help if you feel you were unjustly terminated.
The actual response: The fired man slit the throats of his former employer's dogs.
William Skyler Leak (pictured above) was fired from his job as a caretaker at a stable in Fort Worth, Texas last August.
According to Fort Worth Police, William was let go because "the owner didn't like his work performance." William was told to clear out the on-site mobile home he'd been living in and leave. William refused, and ended up squatting in the trailer for a month until the owner was able to get a court order forcing him out.
The next night William returned to his former workplace and broke in. Once inside, he slit the throats of two border collies. He then stuck a note to a bulletin board inside the stable in which he called the double dog murder "absolutely beautiful."
"The sweet surrender as they looked into my eyes," the note read, "It was breathtaking." The note ended with a warning to his former employer, “If you ever try to find me, you will be in the same situation as your dogs.”
William was found and charged with two counts of animal cruelty. He pleaded guilty and is currently serving a five-year prison sentence.
Cry-Baby #8: The neighbors of the Giesegh family
The incident: A family in Colorado installed a wheelchair ramp on their home.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: Their neighbors are threatening to take legal action against them.
Vincent and Heidi Giesegh have a 16-year-old daughter with cerebral palsy. Because of this, they installed a wheelchair ramp on their home.
In an interview with Louisville's 11 News, Vincent said, "We're trying to do our best to assist our daughter with her daily needs to get in and out of the house." He continued, "As she goes into her spastic modes, we could just tumble down the stairs and both of us could get massively hurt."
But, really, he doesn't need to explain any of that. Having a ramp on your house if someone who lives there needs one is a no-brainer.
According to the Gieseghs, their neighbors got in touch at some point in October asking them to remove the ramp because they were afraid it would lower the value of their property. They said that if the Gieseghs refused, they would take legal action against them.
11 News tried to speak to the neighbors to get their side of the story, but they declined to comment.
Cry-Baby #9: Gail Horalek
The incident: A girl read The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank as part of a school project.
The appropriate response: Realizing that the people who died in the Holocaust are just like you and just how lucky you are to be growing up with so many nice things, etc.
The actual response: The girl's mother filed a formal complaint with her daughter's school, complaining that the book was "pornographic."
Back in April, the 11-year-old daughter of Gail Horaleck was reading The Diary of a Young Girl by noted-potential-Belieber Anne Frank as part of a school project. Something Gail initially thought was "awesome."
This was until her daughter came to her and said she was concerned about some passages in the book. Specifically, a passage in which Anne talks about her genitals:
"Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn't realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn't see them. What's even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris… When you're standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside. They separate when you sit down and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there's a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That's the clitoris."
Gail felt that this was too much for an 11-year-old girl (who, presumably, also has labia 'n stuff) to be reading, claiming that they "may as well be reading pornography."
So, she contacted the school and filed a formal complaint, before contacting her local news station and telling them about it. She said if the school doesn't pull the book as a result of her complaint, she will take further action until they do.
Despite the fact that her child is sheltered and she is literally trying to ban a book, Gail told Northville Patch, “It doesn’t mean my child is sheltered, it doesn’t mean I live in a bubble and it doesn’t mean I’m trying to ban books.”
Cry-Baby #10: Park Elementary School
The incident: A kid chewed his Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: The Pop-Tart customizing child was suspended from school.
In July, seven-year-old Josh Welch was eating a Pop-Tart during breakfast at Park Elementary School in Baltimore, Maryland. According to his teachers, Josh chewed the Pop-Tart into a shape and pointed it at another student, while saying, "Bang, bang!"
Speaking of the incident on the local news, Josh said, "All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn't look like a mountain really, and it turned out to be a gun kinda. It was already a rectangle and I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kinda looked like a gun, but it wasn't."
Which, obviously, is all bullshit. What kind of a seven-year-old boy tries to make a mountain out of a Pop-Tart? And how do you fail at a mountain and end up with a gun? And why would you point a mountain at someone and say "bang bang"? There's so many holes in that story. If he's gonna go on TV and lie to everyone, he should have maybe taken the, like, ten seconds it would have taken to think of something more convincing than, "It was a banging mountain!" Come on, man.
Obviously Josh doesn't need to lie about this anyway, because making a Pop-Tart gun is not a big deal. If anything, a mountain-shaped Pop-Tart would be more dangerous than a gun-shaped one because it would have at least one sharp edge. (Assuming he was going for the traditional mountain shape, and not like, Table Mountain or Ayers Rock or something.)
Anyway, Josh was removed from the class, and suspended for two days. And his fellow students were sent home with a letter for their parents explaining that there had been an "incident" at school that day. A letter I would've totally framed if I'd received it.
Which one of this lot is the biggest cry-baby of 2013? Let us know in this poll down here and I will make sure the trophy gets sent their way.
Previously: Cry-Baby of the Year 2012
Winner: Ashley Taylor, who pressed assault charges against a man because he snatched a microphone out of her hand.