I’ve slept in conditions you people wouldn’t believe. For years, the horrible beds, couches, chairs, and bus stops where I counted sheep didn’t provide much rest at all, amounting to little more than a stiff back, tired legs, and an unquenchable need for good coffee. It’s hard to say whether it was the years of rotten sleep or the decade-plus of therapy that finally did it, but last year, I set out to invest in a very good bed. I researched options far and wide, looking for the best mattresses and frames I could afford. I was prepared to spare no expense, hoping that finally having a luxurious sleeping situation might change my life for the better. After perusing a wide array of options, I visited Casper, trying out the brand’s majorly hyped mattresses and pillows of all sorts. (Spoiler alert: I ended up loving my picks from the brand so much I wrote a whole article about its finest offerings.) Ultimately, I settled on the Wave Hybrid Snow Mattress, which, while not inexpensive, was the most comfortable surface I’d ever laid my tired, broken body on. The mattress, indeed, has made my sleep significantly better; but it was another Casper product that actually changed my life.
Let’s return to the scene of the crime, shall we? After I decided on a mattress, I was ready to leave the store (mostly because I hate being in public), but the homie at Casper insisted that I try the adjustable base—yes, one of those bed frames that can be angled to give you a little lift or a full, almost-upright boost. I’d had no intention of checking out a new bed frame or base, but I figured I’d humor him for a few minutes, since I didn’t actually have anything better to do. I now believe that Thomas B. in the Chicagoland market deserves not only a raise but a massive promotion (maybe to CEO).
Instead of getting out of the bed I’d just fallen in love with, I was handed a remote control, and encouraged to press the button with a planet in outer space on it; this button, it was explained, would take me into what Casper calls “Zero Gravity”—an optimal state where your upper body and feet are elevated, allowed to relax in some kind of mystical way. I was familiar with the concept of zero gravity from films like Interstellar and, ironically, Gravity, but I didn’t think it was something that could be experienced here on Earth, where there is plenty of gravity. (If I haven’t mentioned gravity enough times for you yet, here’s this.) Anyway, I pressed the button and ascended into a blackout state that lasted until an adjustable base was delivered to my apartment a few days later. In other words, I’m now a huge fan—and here’s why.
The adjustable base is not just a game-changer for sleep; it offers a level of comfort not really available elsewhere, at least not in my experience. You can prop your head up for reading or watching TV, or you can find the perfect angle to put your feet up after a long walk or hard workout (this feels sublime). There’s an anti-snoring function that slightly raises your head to help open your airways. My household loves this base so much that “Zero Gravity” has become a verb—”I can’t wait to go home and Zero Gravity” is now a common utterance during concerts or after long car or train rides. It’s like the memory-eraser from Men in Black, but for bodily tiredness. Honestly, I’d let somebody murder me, as long as they did it while I was in Zero Gravity (just kidding, please don’t murder me [until after I see The Cure this summer]).
Is Casper’s adjustable base expensive? Well, it’s not inexpensive, but I’m being completely candid and not ironic at all when I say that, for me, when it comes to this kind of product, you can’t put a price on comfort. I’d happily pay two or three times this amount for an adjustable base, because of how much pleasure and comfort it’s brought into my life. I regularly read, work, and meditate in Zero Gravity, and since the base even has USB ports, you can, uh, use your bed to charge your phone. Dude, even my cats like Zero Gravity—they lose their minds with anxiety when a dog barks or they hear a key jangle, but if they’re on the bed when the base pops off, they’re like, “Let’s fucking gooooo!” (At least I like to imagine they feel like this, since they don’t run away.) If that’s not enough to convince you to get one of these, I don’t know what is. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned yet that the Pro version has a two-zone massage; that’s how good this thing is—that it didn’t even occur to me to mention that it’ll fucking massage you until the end of the article.
There are three versions of the adjustable base, the eponymous, the Pro, and the Max. The base version has Zero Gravity and independent, raisable upper and lower sections; the Pro has everything I mentioned in the above paragraphs; and the Max has underbed lighting and more massage options. In my opinion, the Pro is a solid choice if you like a vibrating bed and a button that, frankly, has about a 50% chance of stopping your partner from honkin’ all night, but honestly, if you’re simply all about relaxing and don’t need any bells and whistles, the base option’s Zero Gravity feature is good enough.
I’d say thank me later; but if I don’t hear from you, I’ll just assume you went ahead with the adjustable base and that you’re in a (very pleasant) coma. Sweet dreams!
Order Casper’s adjustable base on the brand’s website.
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