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Female Viagra Ice Cream Is a Food-Sex Combo Nobody Asked For

Everyone likes ice cream and sex—what’s not to like? So goes the thinking of the British company behind aphrodisiac-spiked dessert, Vice Cream.

In the latest of questionable food/sex mashups, "guilty pleasure" has become a clunkingly literal reality: "Viagra" ice cream now exists.

Unveiled just before Valentine's Day, Vice Cream is the product of The Licktators, a London-based company founded by the same guy who helped bring (and have subsequently removed) breast milk-flavoured ice cream to Selfridges.

The chocolate-flavoured dessert is billed as a "wicked triple-ripple of aphrodisiacs" and according to the promo card, was developed by someone called Lady Whiplash in a special "whipping room."

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The ingredient propping up the ice cream's "female Viagra" claim is Lady Prelox—an all natural, plant-based female pleasure enhancer. Containing pycnogenol (a botanical bark extract), as well as libido-boosting rose hip extract, L-Arginine, and L-Citrulline, the substance is usually taken in pill form and can be bought from Amazon for around 30 quid.

But wait. If this Lady Prelox is so damn good, why don't we just take it in pill form? Popping a quick one and being ready to rip up the sheets seems like a more convenient (and less messy) way to get on it, but something about possessing XX chromosomes means we have to sugar coat—literally—the fact that yeah, we're taking a kind of Viagra.

It's unlikely that The Licktators are trying to insult anyone. If there were an ice cream for boys that promised to make their balls tingle, they'd buy it in bulk, right? The idea is that it's ice cream first and an added pleasure bonus after.

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Image courtesy The Licktators.

Patronising marketing ploys aside, Vice Cream does a fine job of looking sexier than Walls. Pink ransom note-style typography features on a black carton, as well as a blindfolded woman looking, er, satisfied. Inside, a thick, rich mixture is already melting around the edges and smells of strong cocoa.

And it tastes good. I'd assumed the "Viagra" element would make it taste like those vitamin sweets that promise to taste nice but end up being like a mouthful of used gum, but Vice Cream does a good job of tasting like, well, ice cream. The Ecuadorian chocolate (which, handily, also acts as a stimulant for pleasure and contains serotonin for relaxation) and British whipping cream (yeah, yeah—"whipping" being the operative word) may help with this.

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Patronising marketing ploys aside, Vice Cream does a fine job of looking sexier than Walls.

Without wanting to divulge too much about my clitoris on the World Wide Web, let's just say there was a definite buzz. Vice Cream is nowhere near foolproof, though and a lot of this feeling was probably in my head. I'd just eaten a whole tub of chocolate ice cream and was in bed with the SO, wearing underwear, thinking about having sex. The result: I wanted to have sex.

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I guess a fairer experiment would have been eating a whole McFlurry's worth in the Old Street McDonalds at 2 AM and seeing if any of the drunks or tramps turned me on, but my method—despite being scientifically inaccurate—was probably safer.

If nothing else, female Viagra ice cream is an excuse to eat dessert and have sex. And I'm down with that.