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The Most Minimal Record Ever Made

'WOW,' the most minimal record ever made, is one low tone that "plays" your record player, rather than your player playing it. I don't get it, but it for sure made my stinky tooth crown ache and rattle.

It is no longer enough to make an album of songs and actual music. The enjoyable thing to do now is to release songs that are just noises that make you shit your pants, want to die, or slowly drip blood from the ears. I both love, and hate, this. I can't help myself, though. If a publicist sends me a press release that says something like "this album will make your apartment become haunted," or, "over one million youths have cut their eyelids off while listening to this," I will very seriously and quietly listen to it for a long time.

The other day I got an email about a thing called WOW, which is an album containing one single ultra-low sine tone.

I guess this album plays your record player, rather than the player playing the album. The whole concept makes me upset, but in a good way. I wonder what would happen if you just gently laid the album on top of your head? If you were preggers, would it make you abort your child? Or maybe it would make your breath always taste like metal. There's a lot to experiment with here.