Remember back in 2015, when the Lonely Island guys teamed up with Tegan and Sara at the Oscars to help perform the delightfully catchy and secretly dystopian song "Everything Is Awesome" from The Lego Movie? It was one of the highlights of that year's Academy Awards and way more memorable and fun than anything in Sunday's subdued ceremony—including Armie Hammer's absurdly large hot dog cannon. Well, according to Vulture, Lonely Island actually put together a pitch for their own Oscars song this year, but the show's party-pooper producers axed it for being "financially and logistically impossible."
Apparently, that is producer code for "way too brilliant to fit in such a mediocre awards year," because Lonely Island released their demo of the proposed song on YouTube Monday morning—and the thing would have blown all of Jimmy Kimmel's weird weed jokes and jet ski gags completely out of the water.
The track—called "Why Not Me?"—would have expertly roasted the Academy's high-brow Oscar nominations by bringing together an all-star cast including Gal Godot and Chris Hemsworth in character as Wonder Woman and Thor, respectively, to complain about their lack of nominations. "We both face death, it’s true," the duo sings at one point, "but at least Lady Bird got into NYU."
Tiffany Haddish, the dude who played Pennywise, and a whole gang of actors named Chris were also supposed to pop in for verses in the proposed music video, which would've also included a cameo from Aquaman, complaining about The Shape of Water's fish-fucking scene. Vin Diesel was supposed to sing a few lines, too.
"We were asked to write a song for this year’s Oscars," Lonely Island writes in an introduction to the video. "Unfortunately, it wasn’t chosen because it was 'financially and logistically impossible,' so for fun we thought we’d share the rough storyboards of what would have been a fully shot, star-studded music video of exorbitant cost. All vocals and visuals are temp, so please use your imagination and enjoy!"
Sure, the song and video aims pretty high and would have definitely cost a shit-ton, but it's also the best thing Lonely Island has put out since their criminally underrated movie, Popstar. Even as a demo with a cobbled-together slideshow and scratch vocals, it's hilarious. Give the video a watch above and dream of an alternate universe where we actually got to see Vin Diesel sing the line, "If popcorn movies are bad, how come popcorn's so delicious?" Alas, the Lonely Island's song was too good for this world.
Follow VICE on Twitter.