The 90th annual Academy Awards ceremony was long and tame and almost completely absent of anything memorable. There were no monumental envelope mixups, nobody tripped on their way to give a speech, and the closest thing we got to a selfie moment was something involving a hot dog gun.
But there were still some exciting moments here and there over the course of the nearly four-hour show, in between the jet ski jokes and Walmart ads. So in case you missed the ceremony or fell asleep halfway through, here's a quick rundown of everything you missed. At least you'll be able to hold your own during the conversations at work Monday morning, if nothing else.
Helen Mirren Downed a Tequila Shot on the Red Carpet
Plenty of people were drinking at the Oscars this year—Jennifer Lawrence scaled a few rows of seats with a full glass of white wine just to get a chance to talk to chat with Meryl Streep, and 86-year-old West Side Story icon Rita Moreno sipped on some champagne before taking the stage. But no one managed to make drinking look as dignified as when Helen Mirren slammed a shot of tequila on the red carpet to kick off the night.
Timothée Chalamet Geeked Out About a Shout-Out from His High School Acting Teacher
The star of Call Me by Your Name didn't end up taking home an Oscar for Best Actor, but he still managed to make everyone at home proud. With his mom on his arm, Chalamet got a surprise shout-out from his former acting teacher, Harry Shifman, and some students from New York's Laguardia High School—his alma mater.
"I literally would not be an actor without that man, without that school, without public arts funding," the 22-year-old said. "I would not be at the Oscars, I would not be nominated without him."
Thank you, Mr. Shifman, for guiding young Chalamet into acting and steering him away from whatever this high school rap phase was.
Jimmy Kimmel's Opening Speech
Kimmel roasted Trump and landed a few careful jokes about Hollywood's sexual harassment scandals in his opening monologue. It was fine. Here's a quick cut of the highlights:
Sufjan Stevens's Tragically Short Performance
Stevens's performance of his Oscar-nominated original song "Mystery of Love" from Call Me by Your Name was one of the standout musical segments during this year's ceremony—and it would have been even better if Stevens was allowed to play the whole version of his emotional song instead of an abridged version.
Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek, and Annabella Sciorra Introduced a Time's Up Montage
"This year, many spoke their truth and the journey ahead is long, but slowly, a new path has emerged," Sciorra told the Oscars crowd as the three Weinstein accusers introduced a video tribute to inclusion and equality featuring famous figures from the industry.
James Ivory and Tiffany Haddish Won Best Dressed
James Ivory officially took home an Oscar for his adapted screenplay of Call Me by Your Name, but he unofficially took home the award for Best Dressed, thanks to his white shirt decorated with a hand-painted photo of CMBYN star Timothée Chalamet. The 89-year-old, who became the oldest person to ever win an Oscar, also made a speech that gave everyone the feels.
Tiffany Haddish gave Ivory a run for his money in the Best Dressed category thanks to a familiar-looking white dress that she's previously worn while gracing other red carpets and onstage at SNL. She may be an outfit repeater, but why change what's working?
Jimmy Kimmel Surprised Some Innocent People Again
And somehow, Armie Hammer wound up with a hot dog cannon.
Get Out Won Best Original Screenplay
It may have lost Best Picture and Best Director to a sexy fish movie, but Jordan Peele's brilliant social thriller won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, making him the first black screenwriter to win the award in the ceremony's 90-year history.
"I stopped writing this movie about 20 times because I thought it was impossible," Peele said onstage. "I thought it wasn't going to work. I thought no one would ever make this movie. But I kept coming back to it because I knew if someone let me make this movie, that people would hear it and people would see it. So, I want to dedicate this to all the people who raised my voice and let me make this movie. "
Still, no one was more excited than Peele's Key & Peele co-star, Keegan-Michael Key.
Emma Stone Took Some Notes from Natalie Portman
The 2017 Best Actress winner introduced the Best Director nominees as "these four men and Greta Gerwig," calling out the lack of female representation in the category, just as Natalie Portman did at the Golden Globes. The Lady Bird director was only the fifth woman to be nominated in the category, but lost out to Guillermo del Toro for The Shape of Water.
Frances McDormand Proved Once Again That We Don't Deserve Her
McDormand's Best Actress acceptance speech for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri was just as witty and moving as we've come to expect from her, ending in her setting down the award and turning the attention to the other women in the room.
"If I may be so honored to have all the female nominees in every category stand with me in this room tonight," she began, calling out Meryl Streep in a nearby row. "Meryl, if you do it everyone else will—the filmmakers, the producers, the directors, the writers, the cinematographers, the composers, the song writers, the designers. Come on!
"OK, look around everybody, look around, ladies and gentleman, because we all have stories to tell and projects we need financed," she said, as women around the room took a stand. "Don’t talk to us about it at the parties tonight. Invite us into your office in a couple days or you can come to ours, whichever suits you best, and we can tell you all about them."
And Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty Proved They Could Read the Correct Best Picture Winner
The icons redeemed themselves after last year's monumental mixup, successfully awarding Guillermo del Toro's The Shape of Water the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, that didn't stop the director from double-checking the envelope just to make sure.
That's the 2018 Oscars, everybody. Sure, there was a very awkward Spielberg/weed joke in there, too, but it's best for us all to just never speak of that again. Check out our full list of all the night's winners. See you next year!
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