bert burykill
Rape-Os in Prison
There is a jailhouse rumor that everyone is asked to produce “their papers” when they arrive at a prison to prove that they don’t have anything shady on their rap sheet, but that’s not really true. The same goes for the myth that all touchers are...
I Saw an Inmate Get Struck by Lightning Through the Phone
The sky got crazy, there was a sonic boom and a MEGA flash of light—from across the room I saw Black sprint 20 feet while holding his underarm/heart area. He slowed down, turned around, stumbled back ten or 15 feet stuttering, “It hurts, it burns,” and...
Finish What You Start
I’ve witnessed a few wigs get split in the middle of the night by a lock in a sock, I’ve heard stories about people getting boiling baby oil dumped on them, and seen guys walking around with these ugly scars. Revenge is common in prison, so finish what...
Shit Dudes in Prison Say
Dudes say the most stupefying things in jail. I don’t know what it is, but there is a breed of dude who just makes shit up about the Prada shoes, the Mercedes, the gold-plated condom, the bad bitch with two pussies and no butthole… just outlandishness.
Lockup Crackup
This dorm environment is wearing me down. Non-stop noise and nonsense. County jails are designed to make people go crazy and cop unwise pleas to end the madness. Just this morning, my bunky was unexpectedly woken at 4:30 AM for a court date he had no...
Back in Jail and Smoking Green Beans
So it’s back to the stinkin’ clink again. My state tour of various jails and institutions now includes Westchester County Jail in Valhalla. Because I have had felonies and been Upstate before, I got put in a dorm with a buncha cutthroat criminals who...
The Rapes of Wrath
The imminent threat of big black cocks filling holes is how the media machine tries to keep white guys out of jail.
Getting $$ in the Clink-Clink
Not that braggadocio is my thing or that anyone will even believe me, but I’ve made at least 5,000 stamps gambling on football over the years.