CAPS LOCK REVIEWS
Rick Ross' 'Mastermind' - The Kid Mero Review
I READ THIS TRACKLIST ON PAPER AND WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT FRENCH MONTANA IS ALL OVER THIS AND THERE'S A JOINT WITH MAVADO?! THEN I PUT IT ON AND IT WAS WILD BORING.
KATY PERRY'S "PRISM" IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY
CUZ SOME OF THESE JOINTS ARE BRAINWASH TUNEZ AND SOME ARE JUST MUSIC TO OD ON MOLLY TO.
Danny Brown's 'Old' - The Kid Mero Review
"THIS ALBUM IS BASICALLY A GANGSTA CLIT PIERCING. I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY POSSIBLE."
In Solitude's 'Sister": The Kid Mero Review
"Jumping In The Air Doing A Split With Your Tongue Out Music"
Haim's 'Days Are Gone' Makes Me Want to Do Jumping Jacks and Smile Broadly
I WOULD ONLY LISTEN TO HAIM WHILE DOING COCAINE IN THE BACK TO THE FUTURE CAR AND HOLDING HANDS WITH A GIRL DRESSED LIKE A HOMELESS CYNDI LAUPER.
Miley Cyrus's 'Bangerz' - The Kid Mero Review
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE UNFAVORABLE THAT I WOULD RATHER LISTEN TO THAN THIS SHIT.
Joey Bada$$' 'Summer Knights' Is Excellent Weed Smoking Music from 1997
"I WOULDA GIVEN IT A 4 BUT I RAN OUTTA WEED."
Migos' "Versace" Should Have Been Called "Fuhsachee" But It's Still Great
MIGOS ARE INCOHERENT BUT THEY'RE ABOUT TO HAVE THE SUMMER ON SMASH I'M PREDICTING THE SHIT RIGHT NOW.
Surfer Blood's 'Pythons' Is for When I Want to Have a Carefree Afternoon Full of Aggression
I'M GONNA GO FILM A SKATE VIDEO PART TO THE SHIT.
J. Cole's 'Born Sinner' Is OK But Maybe I'm Just In a Great Mood
I FEEL LIKE I'M LISTENING TO MY FRIEND COMPLAIN WHILE I'M PLAYING CALL OF DUTY HIGH.
30 Seconds to Mars' 'Love, Lust, Faith, and Dreams' Is Male Bare Midriff Music
JARED LETO IS ON SOME OTHER SHIT B. YOU'RE A PRETTY OKAY ACTOR MY GUY THIS WHOLE "I'M IN A ROCK BAND" SHIT IS WILD ANCILLARY. YOU COULD PROLLY EAT OFF DOING MOVIES WHERE YOU STARE LOVINGLY INTO CAREY MULLIGAN'S EYES OR SOME SHIT.
French Montana's 'Excuse My French' Is a Masterpiece Full of Arbitrary Violence and Strip Club Sonatas
THIS IS THIS GENERATION'S 'ILLMATIC' AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU'VE NEVER SHOT A GUN AT ANOTHER HUMAN.