clams

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  • Insta Clams

    Clams don't have dicks, drink alcohol, or smoke weed, but they do discover that their girlfriends cheated on them through Instagram.

  • The Painful Exile to Brooklyn

    I don't believe that anyone moves to Brooklyn who can avoid it, and my current condition hasn't done anything to change my mind. I don't give a shit about whether a neighborhood has "character"; I want more than one decent...

  • The Painful Exile to Brooklyn

    I don't believe that anyone moves to Brooklyn who can avoid it, and my current condition hasn't done anything to change my mind. I don't give a shit about whether a neighborhood has "character"; I want more than one decent restaurant within walking...

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  • I Took a Female Ejaculation Class

    You know that thing that most women did when they were 14, where they squatted over a mirror to discover their own vaginas? Maybe it’s my culturally instilled Iranian guilt about the female body but I only did that for the first time last year.

  • Sidemouth - Getting Happy as a Clam in New Brunswick

    Time to get get all Cousteau up in this business and have myself a zesty little educational ocean adventure of fun.

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