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Emojis That Don’t Exist but Should

If we all had a bong, we’d all get along.

by Shamani Joshi, and Dhvani Solani; illustrated by Prianka Jain
18 July 2019, 5:30am

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but emojis are capable of packing a whirlwind of emotions into one neatly crafted smiley face. We admit, there are a lot of emojis that don’t deserve their moment in the sun, but even though the Unicode Consortium comes up with new emojis every year, there’s still some pretty important ones they’ve left out so far. So, this #WorldEmojiDay, here’s our petition for emojis that don’t exist yet, but totally, absolutely should.

Bong

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You know what they say: If we all had a bong, we’d all get along. Nothing hits closer to home for a stoner than this emoji, and that’s why it’s a necessary addition to all the cheering beers and cigarette smoke on your keypad.

Fish with plastic waste stuck inside

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There's nothing’s fishier than climate change deniers, and the harm we're causing to our planet needs to be reminded and in our face everywhere we go. We’re all ingesting plastic on a daily basis anyway, but marine life is probably the most affected by all our mindless plastic pollution. So, let this emoji be an important lesson for you to think twice before you gulp down a bottle of water and throw it away without properly segregating your waste.

Ecstasy pills

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It’s one way to make your conversation pop. And if you’re all-too-familiar with the blurred vision that prevents you from being able to type out texts properly when you’re tripping balls, you’d know that this emoji is almost an essential. Also, what better a way to show your happiness than by saying you feel ecstatic?

A negative pregnancy test

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We’re positive that there is no joy and relief like peeing on a stick and getting a negative in return for those of us who want to remain child-free and not have to fight for our kids when the water rations will be implemented. After having a pregnant woman and baby emojis, we kind of really need this to balance out the universe.

Gaurakshak (cow protector)

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Between the beef ban and cow lynchings, there are growing numbers of self-styled protectors of cows out there today. Considering their vigilantism makes it to our papers super often, maybe they need an emoji of their own?

Tampon

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Periods have been prejudiced for way too long and now that the conversations around them are in full flow, it’s about bloody time we normalise this natural body process by giving it its own emoji.

Drag queen

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Pride celebrations are in full swing everywhere, and just having a rainbow flag is no longer enough. LGBTQ rights need to be in the spotlight and no one shakes things up better than a drag queen. So, we’re dedicating an emoji to all the fearless ones out there. We wish we had half the confidence a drag queen does.

420

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If we’ve already got a 100 emoji, isn’t it high time we open up to other important numbers as well?

K-pop Symbol

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It’s a fact that us Asians are crazy about K-pop. From the BTS boys to Exo, we clearly can’t get enough of the catchiness of K-pop. And even the heart-eyes emoji isn’t enough to express all our love. So, here’s an ode to Hallyu.

Eating ass

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Because we give a shit about all kinds of weekend brunch plans, why not give rimming its very own representation?

This article originally appeared on VICE IN.