FOUR THINGS THE INTERNET CAN TEACH YOU #10

1. WORLD'S MOST UNCOMFORTABLE VIDEO DISCOVERED

I don't know if you guys remember this, but a few weeks ago I wrote about an unbelievably naive kid named Eric declaring war on "metal loving fuckhead" Justin Bieber haters. As predicted, things spiraled out of control quickly. 4chan started harassing, people on both sides got hacked, FB hate groups started appearing, way too many people made comments involving the term "cyberpolice," and the whole thing ended with Eric being too scared to leave his house and getting (allegedly) beaten up by his (alleged) alcoholic father. But possibly the most depressing thing to come out of the "war" is this video, made by a kid named Jack who was "assisting Eric in the war."

It might just be the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched. I really feel like someone should step in and give him some advice. If he wants people to stop making fun of him on the internet, I can think of better ways of doing it than posting this video. Poor guy.

2. THE INTERNET HAS DONE LOST ITS MIND AGAIN

Every once in a while, a product comes out and the internet goes FUCKING INSANE. I usually at least understand where they're coming from, even if I don't personally like it—like with bacon flavored everything, or graphic tees that let everyone know you have a deeper understanding of the Mario universe than everyone else. But I'm completely stumped on this one.

For some reason I haven't been able to go anywhere online recently without seeing someone get in a tizzy over tube-free toilet paper. Am I missing something? It's just toilet paper without a tube, right? Is it because toilet paper makes people think of poop? Is that the level of humor we're dealing with here? Or is it because there hasn't been any kind of real progression in the toilet paper field in quite some time? I seriously have NO idea. I haven't been this confused since vuvuzelas.

3. MY DREAM HOME IS OUT THERE Man, I would sacrifice just about anything to live in a house that does this. Imagine if you could hook it up to the doorbell!

4. IT COULD BE WORSE

I'm thinking of starting my own version of the It Gets Better campaign called "it could be worse." To let people know that, no matter how bad things get for you, there is someone else out there who has it way worse. For instance, you could be an artist who thought it was a good idea to paint a series of paintings which depicts Bill Murray as the main character in all of Wes Anderson's films. EUGH, can you believe someone actually spent time doing that? I'm so angry I'm shaking.

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE