Waffle Maker Hacks Are the Only Good 'Life Hack'

Quick, easy ways to improve your life are usually garbage, but putting things in a waffle maker is never wrong.
January 9, 2020, 7:03pm
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Photo: LauriPatterson via iStock/Getty Images Plus

Yesterday, Lifehacker's Claire Lower shared a tip so genius that I—a real canned meat freak—am quite frankly jealous I didn't think of it myself. Cook SPAM in your waffle maker, Lower suggested, as my brain exploded in frame-by-frame slow motion.

Not only will this method cook both sides evenly, Lower explained, but the increased surface area by virtue of the waffle's raised ridges will increase the number of crispy spots. Yes. I am extremely here for this.

Most people in the food world will at this point tell you that single-purpose kitchen gadgets are a no-go, cluttering our cabinets to the chagrin of Alton Brown devotees and Marie Kondo enthusiasts. The waffle maker is the exception, which is solitary in motive only by name. In practice, the waffle maker is a truly multi-purpose gadget, as websites like "Will It Waffle?" have proven time and time again. The waffle maker remains the one gadget to rule them all, and the only "life hack"—a category that is mostly bullshit (sorry to the rest of this life hack website)—that really matters.

The "Will It Waffle?" blog, for example, has yielded a cookbook with 53 waffleable ideas including waffled stuffing, waffled arancini, waffled shrimp wontons, and waffled chicken fingers. None of these ideas are bad, and I dare you to attempt them and somehow not feel absolutely delighted by the end result, even if it's not exactly perfect. Making something more crispy and more covered in butter is rarely a bad thing.

Newer copycats touting the "150 best waffle maker recipes" and 70+ "keto chaffle recipes" (a keto-friendly waffle made of cheese and eggs... um, duh) now also exist, and you know what? No matter how much I might gag at the thought of calling a waffle a "chaffle" for no good reason other than a mediocre attempt at branding, the conceit of putting whatever the hell I want in a waffle maker and ooh-ing and aaaah-ing at the crispy golden result brings joy to my life every time I've ever done it. Take the rest of your stupid "life hacks" and shove it.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.