It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: A mystery Call of Duty player.
The incident: Someone lost a game of Call of Duty.
The appropriate response: Shouting obscenities into your headset.
The actual response: They allegedly called 911 and had a SWAT team sent to the other player's home.
On Tuesday, an unnamed teen in Long Beach, New York, was playing an online multiplayer game of Call of Duty.
According to reports, the teen won the game.
This apparently didn't go down so well with one of the other players. Police in Long Beach received a call around 3PM from a man who reportedly told them, "I just killed my mother, and I might shoot more people." He gave them the address of the teen who'd just won at Call of Duty.
The police sent multiple vehicles, an ambulance, a SWAT team and hostage negotiators to the house.
When they arrived and entered the home, they found an unharmed family and a dude playing Call of Duty.
"Everybody was scared to death," said a neighbour who witnessed the raid.
Police are attempting to track down the person responsible for the hoax call, who they say probably got the teen's address after tracing his IP. If caught, they face "serious charges" and may have to pay back the cost of the police operation, which was probably a lot.
The teen's mother says he is "not allowed to play that game ever again".
Cry-Baby #2: VA Medical Center
The incident: A man failed to pay for his soda refill.
The appropriate response: Asking him to pay.
The actual response: He was fined $525 and lost his job.
Earlier this week, Christopher Lewis was working his construction job at VA Medical Center in North Charleston, South Carolina.
While eating lunch in the centre's on-site cafeteria, he refilled his soda cup at the soda machine.
According to Christopher, after he did this, a man who identified himself as the chief of police approached him and asked if he was going to pay for his refill. "I told him I wasn't aware that I had to pay for that," Christopher told WISTV.
He claims that he tried to pay the 89 cents on the spot, but was not allowed to. Instead, Christopher says, he was taken to a back room where he was given a $525 citation for shoplifting. He was also told he was not allowed to return to the property.
As he works on the property, this meant he was out of a job.
"I'm done there, at the VA hospital. I'm not allowed to go on the premises any more. I asked him can I still work on the job site and just bring my lunch and not go to the cafeteria and he said he wanted me off the premises," he said.
Christopher says that he never noticed the signs, and had always refilled his soda without paying in the past.
"Every time I look at the ticket, it's unbelievable to me," Chris said. "I can't fathom the fact that I made an 89 cent mistake that cost me $525."
In a statement about the incident, the hospital said:
"Today a Federal citation was issued for shoplifting in the VA cafeteria to an individual who stated to VA police he had not paid for refills of beverages on multiple occasions, even though signs are posted in the cafeteria informing patrons refills are not free. Shoplifting is a crime. The dollar amount of the ticket is not determined by VA as it is a Federal citation. The citation may be paid or the recipient may choose to appear in Federal court to contest it."
A hospital spokesperson also referred to the free refill as "Theft of government property."
After local news reported on the story, the charge was downgraded from a citation to just a warning. It's unclear if Christopher has been allowed to return to his job.
Which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:
Winner: The homophobe!!!
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter