Life

Straight Guys, Here's Why You Should Give Pegging a Chance

Into butt stuff but don't quite know how to ask for it? Here's what to do.
25 May 2020, 8:45am
abby broad city pegging
Screenshot: 'Broad City' / Comedy Central, via

The first man I ever pegged was far from a fountain of wisdom, but when he described including ass play in the bedroom as "going from a Playstation 1 to a Playstation 4" it became my go-to for explaining why men should let me inside them. The role reversal and power that comes with plowing into a man's huge, hairy arse – as opposed to him plowing into my huge, hairy arse – is a pleasure that can't really be matched by any other.

Asking a number of women their reasons for partaking in pegging, the answer coming up trumps was the feeling of dominating their partner. For guys, the response was along the same lines. "There's a release for me just giving up power and allowing my partner to take control of me," says Ben, 33. "Getting on my hands and knees and being fucked senseless just feels incredible."

Outside of relationship dynamics, sex therapist and BARE dating app cofounder Gillian Myhill reminded me that the most obvious reason men want to get fucked in the ass is their prostate. This is because a guy’s prostate is basically the male G-spot, and having it stimulated "can induce a completely different kind of orgasm" that the average straight cis guy hasn't experienced before.

Whatever your reason for wanting the strap, asking your girlfriend if she's dtf with pegging might seem intimidating. In this case, follow our tips below.

GAUGE YOUR AUDIENCE

If your girlfriend has never touched your arse, tossed your salad or told you that she wants to don a strap-on, it’s probably not the best idea to dive right in with "just fuck me already". Much like the anus itself, it's better to ease into it gradually – and don’t be shocked if your shagging partner isn't exactly sure what pegging is.

Work out why you want to be pegged so much and approach your girlfriend with that information. A seductive explanation will hopefully turn your girlfriend on and into your new domme top. Alg, 27, supplied me with some quips to make her climb on top of you: "Broach the subject with phrases like, 'What fantasies do you have/do you enjoy anal/is there anything new you want to try?'"

'Just be open and honest," adds Caoili, 25. "And if your partner is horrified, you're with the wrong person! Or, more likely, you're just fucking the wrong person."

GET YOUR TOOLS READY

If you think fumbling for a condom in the dark is a turn off, imagine the absolute buzzkill of getting your girl all pent up for a bit of pegging, to reveal you can't actually do it for the next three to five working days.

Kelsey, 28, says being handed a strap-on and asked to fuck is her biggest fantasy, which is what essentially happened the first time she pegged a guy. "During a threesome I was asked by the other girl if I wanted to peg the guy, then appeared with the strap-on and he assumed the position. Being caught off-guard is what made it so hot! When I arranged it with a different guy, he was keen, but I had to buy a strap and it felt weirdly transactional and less hot."

But if whipping out an elaborate collection of dildos and harnesses at a moment's notice isn’t for you, maybe try including your partner in your next sex toy purchase instead. "Being asked [to peg someone] while shopping for sex toys always sounds sexy to me," Alg daydreams. "Browsing with a partner and them leading me to the straps and asking me there."

MAKE IT SEXY

Try showing your interest by asking for a cheeky finger or a rim job before moving onto the pegging discussion. That way, Myhill explains, you could suggest the strap during your dirty talk: "As she circles her finger around the inside of your anus, massaging your prostate, whisper in her ear how much you would enjoy feeling something bigger." I don’t know about the rest of the ladies reading this quote, but the idea has instigated a bit of a wide on.

All the women I interviewed for this piece explained pegging was a massive turn-on for them as well as their partners, so when you’re getting shagged, do keep in mind that this isn’t just for you – it’s for both of you. With each of the gals going in on how they use pegging to unlock their dominant side, try playing into being the subby lil bitch you’ve always wanted to be.

BE CONFIDENT

"Sadly, many men do not journey into anal play,” Myhill laments. "Questions of sexuality, embarrassment attached to cleanliness and shame being the top reasons." These worries are, unfortunately, the reason a guide on how to ask about pegging needs to exist in the first place. But if you're confident in your desires and include your partner in the fantasy, there’s little reason your other half can argue against your proclivity for pegging.

Being coy isn’t going to get your point across, and if you’re lost for bold ways to ask for butt stuff, follow 27-year-old Alex’s advice: "Ask me to peg the same way a high school teen would ask a date to prom. Stand outside my window on a Friday night, write the word 'PEGGING?' in gasoline and light it on fire as you hold a boom box playing Peter Gabriel."

@GINATONIC

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