This Week in Food Porn: Blood Orange and Banana Bread

Hey, we're in a Bear market! Sure, that might actually spell the beginning of yet another world economic crash and the price of food soaring through the roof. But guys—a Bear market?

It sounds such fun! We know that you're too busy working out the finer points of economics, engineering, international relations, philosophy, French existentialism, agriculture, medicine, and legislature to sweat over the silly stuff like food. But man cannot live on theory alone. So we're bringing you the very best in food porn, uploaded to Instagram this week.

That's right; the best in frosted, soft boiled, slow-roasted, pan fried, homegrown food photography delivered to your salt-encrusted fingers for nothing more than to make you smile.

So knock yourself out, give yourself a stitch—enjoy.

#followoftheday @lovesoup_bondi

A photo posted by Nigella (@nigellalawson) on Jan 20, 2016 at 11:30pm PST

Only Nigella could make a bunch of radishes look like the saucy end of a cherub's buttock. And only Nigella could make us delight in their wood-slatted slicing upon an altar of southern hemisphere spring.

Wahoo #tuna ️ A photo posted by The Lucky Taco (@theluckytaconz) on Jan 19, 2016 at 8:28pm PST

Oh John West, you downbeat, wipe-clean, salt-bearded old duffer—don't you know there's a new kid in town? The kind of guy who pulls wheelies up the kerb outside Wilkos while smoking a B&H Silver and blasting the Tupac album he secretly downloaded off his mum's laptop? Move over, old man. Your time has come. Wahoo!

The Codfather @michelrouxjr #skrei2016 #norway #gonefishing A photo posted by Rosie Birkett(@rosiefoodie) on Jan 17, 2016 at 5:53am PST

Oh, to be a wet-whiskered fruit of the ocean, resting in the arms of my beloved. Oh, to look out across the snow-tipped fjords of Norway with the taste of brine on my teeth and a sleet-coloured beard to nestle into. Oh, to breathe my last frigid lungful against a fully waterproof, XL navy babygro.

Fill your kitchen with the homely, sweet smell of our #BananaBread! So #delicious with a slather of butter or nut butter, we'd have this any time of day; as a #lunchbox snack, with a cup of tea, or even for #breakfast. You can find the recipe in #TheArtOfEatingWell, have a go and let us know what you think! #yum #food #glutenfree A photo posted by Hemsley Sisters (@hemsleyhemsley) on Jan 20, 2016 at 11:47am PST

Remember Lorena Bobbitt? The woman who emancipated her husband's manhood from its torso shackles? Apparently she's baking now.

Raw winter salad with blood orange and sherry vinegar dressing #itsinmybook #FastDaysandFeastDays A photo posted by Elly Curshen (@ellypear) on Jan 20, 2016 at 12:22pm PST

If Jackson Pollock had just spent a little less time at B&Q with a hangover and a little more time down the fruit and veg stalls in Huddersfield Market, maybe we all would have benefitted, eh? Because from where I'm sitting, this looks like a calligraphy of carrots, cabbage, and blood orange.

This morning #breakfast could not be anything else. #marmalade with #sourdough A photo posted by Anja (@cocoinmykitchen) on Jan 21, 2016 at 12:18am PST

One in your eye, so-called "morning." One sourdough Paddington Bear bite at a time.

Grilled Skirt Steak w/Chimichurri. Pour it on ! The skirt was perfect fatty med. rare and the chimi was unreal. The most anticipated dish and Chef Razo at Villa Roma did not disappoint. Another delicious plate at the @melissasproduce #OCEatUp event. A photo posted by Jules (@julesfood) on Jan 21, 2016 at 5:58pm PST

Put on your dancing skirt, climb aboard a gaggle of spud admirers, lie back in your glossy fat, and accept the spicy admirations of Señor Chimichurri my dear, for ours is a steak and potatoes. Of high gloss and low noises.

جمعه صبحارو رنگی رنگی شروع کنید کیف کنید. . . . پ.ن: ابی با صدای بلندم فراموش نشه لطفا A photo posted by فیل آشپز (@elephant_chef) on Jan 21, 2016 at 9:19pm PST

What if Noah's Ark had actually been an elephantine tub of sprinkled nuts and fried eggs? What if we just messed up the translation? What if all those cubits, animals, and blanching water had actually been a recipe? Hot diggity, sesame.

Wood fired mackerel with buttermilk, charred scallion, & wood sorrel. By - @mel_the_butcher #ChefsOfInstagram A photo posted by chefsofinstagram (@chefsofinstagram) on Jan 21, 2016 at 9:52pm PST

I went for a swim in Brighton the other day. The tide was coming in and a huge brown, unexpected swell of a wave rose up from nowhere and smacked me—gusset and knees first—onto a cacophony of hard pebbles. I was salt-shocked, water-nostrilled, and oozing snot. If those pebbles had been sorrel, the water had been buttermilk, and my goose bumped body mackerel, then this plate would serve as a pretty accurate photofit of my final moments.

Photo by @jill_bliss. #forage #happiness A photo posted by lifted + gifted (@liftedlab) on Jan 21, 2016 at 5:41pm PST

Alright Alice, you hippy. Stop eating fun fungus and giving blow-backs to slugs. It's time to cut your hair and get a real job.