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Food by VICE

It's Wednesday, January 23, and This Pizza-Topped Sushi Roll Costs $36

Also, this tiny house runs on... Dunkin'?

by Hannah Keyser
Jan 23 2019, 5:11pm

Composite Image by MUNCHIES Staff: Getty Images/Tim Hawley // Getty Images/Nataliia Melnyk/EyeEm

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

News

  • I'm sure the inside of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile doesn't smell like hot dog water, but I don't think I'd be able to shake the psychosomatic scent thoroughly enough to apply to be a driver. But maybe that's your dream job? Either way, the listing is worth a peek just for the puns.
  • Recently we published an argument that you shouldn't top pizza with entire other meals—which would certainly include, but is not limited to, sushi. However, we failed to stipulate that you also shouldn't top sushi with pizza. That's our bad. And now Japanese chain Amataro is taking advantage of the oversight with a hulking, 3.3-pound, 6,000-calorie roll that does just that. In addition to a slice of pizza, the so-called "Devil’s Ehomaki" roll also includes beef short rib, mayonnaise, egg, deep-fried pork cutlet, sausage, and, of course, some rice and seaweed. If you can stomach mushing all those different foods together in one bite, the roll can be yours for 3,990 yen (US $36). Not a bad deal for what is essentially several different meals stacked on top of each other.
  • Dunkin' Donuts worked with a sustainable biochemical company to turn the oil from coffee beans into fuel (essentially? Don't ask me about the details.) and then partnered with a New Frontier Tiny Homes to outfit a DD-aesthetic tiny home with this biofuel. Which is surprising, given that Dunkin's smallest coffee likely doesn't even fit inside a tiny home.
  • Apparently White Castle sponsors a luge team ("The nation’s two foremost slider experts.") and I am eternally grateful to The Takeout for bringing this to my attention.
  • Sour Patch Kids cereal (which hit supermarket shelves yesterday) sounds awful; Shake Shack food trucks (which will be deployed in New Jersey and Atlanta, Georgia next month) sound brilliant. And yet, for some reason, I'm more interested in seeking out the cereal for a taste test.

Not News

Meghan Markle's friend-slash-makeup-artist posted the above Instagram in which he dubbed Her Highness "the #avocadotoast whisperer" with a nod to her days as a lifestyle blogger. I mean, it looks fine but if you are a Duchess, don't you at least have to flex a thinly sliced radish?

Something Nice

At 72, Wynnifred Franklin (great name, especially for a Philadelphian; her late husband's name was Benjamin Franklin!) got bored of sitting around in retirement and decided to Get This Bread. So she went back to work—after earlier careers at the RCA during WWII, answering caller questions for the Valley Forge Information Services, and making motors for Transicoil—in the bakery section of a Philadelphia-area Giant supermarket. Over 20 years later, the now-94-year-old hasn't missed a day of work.

Buy This Bucket

clam chowder
via Goldbely.com

It's cold. And what's more, it's going to stay cold for a lot longer than you realize or are prepared for. Treat yourself to a couple of buckets of Manhattan- or New England-style clam chowder shipped to you from a "sleepy fishing village in Northern California" where it's probably never 23 degrees with severe windchill.