I know some people hate the environment. I get it. It saps the skin and blood of dead things and turns them into macabre trees. Foxes tear up trash bags and leave soup cans and antipasto packaging all over the hedges. There's dog shit all over everything all the time. The environment can go fuck itself, right?
Well, it may have gone and fucked itself already, or rather we may have fucked it good and proper, as the month of April broke the global temperature record—marking the seventh consecutive month it has happened. It beat April 2015 by the largest margin ever, and means 2016 is on course to be the most sweltering year planet Earth has seen.
According to scientists, El Niño is responsible for this surge in heat this year; however, this doesn't account for the extreme and rapid global warming that we've been experiencing over the past few years.
Climate change deniers might complain that we're just freaking out over nothing, and the whole global warming thing is a way for conservationists to rake in donations, but good God, it's hot as hell. Let's at least try to stop dousing ourselves with aerosol deodorant and maybe get that bike out of storage instead of speeding around in a 1971 Chevelle with a busted catalytic converter and see if that helps, shall we?