INFERNOS, CLAPHAM – #932* of the 1,278-strong "Nightlife in London" list (via TripAdvisor)
A solid start."Probably the smelliest club in London."
"Overpriced, Disgusting, Tacky. Full of disgusting perverts."
"Quite possibly was the worst nightclub I've ever been to, unless you were looking to hook up with a 40-year-old while listening to the Macarena."
TIGER TIGER, OXFORD CIRCUS - #68* (!) of the 1,278-strong Nightlife in London List (via TripAdvisor)
"Had the worst night of my life in this club, ruined by the rudeness of Australian manager Sam. Being in VIP was a complete waste of money. Never ever again."
"Cheap night club feel, the toilets were dirty, urine on the floor up the seats, spiders and cob webs in the corners, toilet paper all over the floor, stunk of urine, and cocaine traces all over the toilet roll dispensers!! Disgusted!! If that's how they keep their toilets, I dread to think what the kitchen is like! When I approached one of the staff, he rudely dismissed what I said so I didn't make too much of a scene in front of other diners."
"Did not see anyone dance all evening"
OPAL BAR, EMBANKMENT - #946* of the 1,278-strong Nightlife in London list (via TripAdvisor)
"Worst place I ever been in London."
"It's a rather tatty affair. Sticky worn cream leather sofas give it the feel of a minicab's waiting room."
"We were told to 'sit on the kerb for 10mins' before coming in even though we had only had 2 drinks each and it was raining. I was appalled by the bouncers' attitude and even now, considering the venue was absolutely empty, we were asked for ID and searched, it was ridiculous. We were not made to feel welcome at all."
CLUB AQUARIUM, OLD STREET – #925* of the 1,278-strong Nightlife in London list (via TripAdvisor)
Club Aquarium, a club with a swimming pool. By this point in the night it's an oasis on an otherwise bleak horizon; a place I can get a drink at 5AM without having to gamble or routinely put a pound coin in a pint glass. Walking up its stairs I pass dancers and muscular, bare-chested men. I've been told by a friend that if you dip a toe in Aquarium's waters you're destined to tip-toe away with a skin condition. I must be careful."The water in the pool was cold and the beers etc exspenssive"
"The swimming pool was right at the end of the club, by the 'gents' toilets - It felt like a private room where a bunch of 'very' wasted individuals in their boxers/thongs were trying to get it on with each other!"
"Worst experience of clubbing."