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This Beer Vibrator Will Give Your Brew Head

Even the most passionate of beer connoisseurs might shy away from actually whipping it out in public, so to speak.

by Gillie Houston
Dec 8 2016, 11:00pm

If the perfect gift for your beer-loving friend—the one already in possession of more growlers, pints, and koozies than they can count—has evaded you this holiday season, fret not. That's where That Ultrabeer Thing comes in.

This somewhat-obnoxiously-named and definitely-questionably-shaped product comes from a UK-based company called That Thing! (naturally), and promises to create the perfect creamy head on any kind of carbonated beer. Using something called "ultrasonic power," the wand-like object "generates 40Khz ultrasound waves to burst CO2 bubbles, creating micro-foam head." Essentially, a quick dip of the Ultrabeer in your brew will leave the pint positively frothing with foam… because who wouldn't want that?

The slightly NSFW device was the subject of a recent viral marketing video by Third Leg Studios, which skewers the snobbiest of beer snobs. In the clip, a particularly ardent beer bro sabotages his date by launching into a detailed explanation of the Ultrabeer's merits. "A lot of the aroma actually comes from the beer's head… so what this does is use ultrasound to stimulate the bubbles and really bring out that taste sensation," he says, swirling the shaft-like object around in his glass of hops.

For some strange reason, this kills the mood. Still, the link to purchase the product is included at the end, just in case any beer enthusiasts wanted to pick up one for their own use—love life be damned.

While the company behind the device—whose only other product currently for sale is another life essential: That Selfie Pro Thing!—touts that the Ultrabeer is "perfect for craft beer, American-style IPA, European-style lager, pilsner, wheat beer, and other carbonated beers," even the most passionate of beer connoisseurs might shy away from actually whipping it out in public, so to speak.

Damian Brown, the co-founder and head brewer of Bronx Brewery, a New York City-based craft beer company, says, "There's zero chance I'd buy and carry around what looks like a vibrator to put into my beer to improve foam."

READ MORE: This Beer Was Brewed Using Tweets

Brown, who holds a Masters degree in Brewing Science from the University of California Davis, says there are other methods of improving upon the aroma of a beer that don't require embarrassing tools. "There are plenty of things brewers, retailers and consumers can (and do!) do to manage and improve foam formation and stability that don't interrupt the social aspect of drinking or require you to look like a clown."

However, if your intent is to make your friend look like a clown, this might in fact be the ultimate gift. One order of That Ultra Beer Thing, plus shipping: $43. Making fun of that friend for taking a vibrator to their beer at the bar: priceless.