I hate you so much right now, Cleveland Indians. From the bottom of my heart, to the very top, it is full of loathing for you, and you alone. I mean that with 100 percent sincerity because of this, uh, "slider dog," which for some reason has Froot Loops on it. Froot Loops. The multi-colored sugar loops peddled by Toucan Sam. On a hot dog. I guess fucking macaroni and cheese and bacon weren't enough, so let's go ahead and put some Wilford Brimley O's on it, too.This foodie/sporting event absurdism is really getting out of hand and I am starting to get really concerned about what will happen next. I can honestly say I never imagined a scenario where people would pay anything to eat a hot dog with Froot Loops sprinkled on it.It reminds me of one my first ever experiences at The Meadowlands as a young man. Looking back, the man I am about to tell you about was probably drunk, but I didn't realize that at the time. He came back to his seat with a hot dog and someone sitting near him found a dead cockroach by his feet and dared him to put it on the hot dog and eat it. After some negotiating, people put together 20 bucks and they paid him to eat it.Not quite as gross, maybe, but at least they paid him.The @Indians new vendor Happy Dog's "Slider Dog." Mac n cheese, bacon, and fruit loops #TribeLive pic.twitter.com/lXolPE2Zjq
— Thomas Khristenko (@ChefKyrie) March 31, 2016