How to Bartend When Your City Is Run by the Mob
I’d always joke to coworkers whenever a fight started, “Oh good! There’s wrestling on TV tonight.”
How to Appropriately Make Out in Bars, According to Bartenders
"I’ve seen a lot of things. More than just kissing, honestly."
How to Treat Your Bartender Friends, According to Your Bartender Friends
“Please don’t put my full name in this—I’m about to tell you how much alcohol I give away.”
The Craziest Stuff I Saw While Working at a Major Fast Food Taco Chain
"That job was traumatizing."
The Wildest Things I Saw as a Food Cart Inspector for the NYC Parks Department
From the hot dog stand cartels to the crown jewel of violations—cooking capybara in the park—it was anything but dull.
As a Chef, I Wish Yelp Didn't Exist
A chef and restaurateur shares why reading online reviews is a maddening experience for many food industry professionals. Just remember, fine dining isn't a fucking community swimming pool.
Being an Artisanal Baker Destroyed My Body
In industrial bakeries, everything in the bread-making process is ergonomic with vigilant precautions towards health and safety. In small bakeries, this is often not the case.
Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ Is the Most Depressing Part of Being a Waiter
For this edition of Restaurant Confessionals, waiter Thomas Clarke shares his frustration about being forced to sing the Birthday Song to strangers in the name of hospitality.
Valentine's Day Is Better with Weed Butter
My first foray into weed edibles was in seventh grade, but later in life it became a lucrative side business to supplement my full-time gig as a professional baker. As such, I can say that nice weed edibles are the best Valentine's Day gift ever.
What It’s Like as a Waitress to Watch Your Messy Valentine’s Day Tinder Date
Valentine’s Day is the same in every restaurant I’ve worked at but a couple of years ago, I watched one customer accidentally arrange two Tinder dates for the same night.
I Sold Pills to Manhattan's Elite from a Restaurant Coat Check
You can make a hell of a lot of money as a drug-dealing restaurant hostess.
Working at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Comes with Unlimited Craziness
People are extraordinarily dirty-ass eaters at a buffet. They steal food and think that they don't have to tip—even after I clean up the shells and bones they just throw on their tables.