The Fiction Issue 2008

    • 7.5.12

      I’ll Give You Some Threats

      I texted some pretty mean shit from someone else’s phone to author Amelia Gray and she punched me in the face.

    • 6.26.12


      The Gaudifingers contagion is no longer contained. It results in rapid aging and painful terrifying death within minutes. Anyone you know could at any time be Gaudifingers.

    • 6.25.12

      Three Kinds of People on the Crosstown Bus

      Mostly it’s no-accounts and old ladies that ride the bus in this city. Most are fat. You never see these kinds of people on television.

    • 6.21.12

      The Number

      “What it is, is that I want to have sex with you. I think it would be really good for me to have sex with you.”

    • 6.21.12

      Hunger Pangs on Paper

      Everyone knows (especially your dad) that if you aspire to be a writer, you’re going to go through life hungry.

    • 6.20.12

      On the Illness

      William was a puker. His expulsions—the color, consistency, and volume of a baby's—occurred after every sentence he spoke.

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    • 6.19.12

      The Poet

      The less the poet wrote, the more books he bought. He was building a library for the person he wished he was. Or so he told himself.

    • 6.18.12


      Some books make us smile, others make us vomit.

    • 6.18.12

      Literary Titans Are Super Freaks

      I have taken the liberty of rounding up the dirtiest exploits of some of the most revered (and perverted) authors in the Western canon.

    • 6.18.12

      My Father at the End

      I did not talk to my father for most of the last year he was alive. It was a form of self-preservation.

    • 6.15.12

      A Misbegotten Traipsing

      Sherlock Holmes was really a trigger-happy neighborhood watch member, kind of like George Zimmerman with an obnoxious accent.

    • 6.13.12

      Jawbreaker’s Major-Label Album

      The story of a writer writing a live-narrative of his Bolt Bus experience that involves writing about writing and writing about reading a story that might have been written about him.