Fred Armisen

  • The First Annual Fiction Issue

    Thank You From Baghdad

    Yesterday (I write this on 6 November 2006) I was handed my verdict in a trial that to me was more of a circus than anything else.

    Fred Armisen
  • The Food Issue

    Illegalize It!

    Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It’s disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone’s skull.

    Fred Armisen
  • The Horror Issue

    Last Rites

    I recently saw a flier in my building announcing the death of one of the tenants. It was an open invitation for people to gather and "celebrate her life with stories, music, and prayer." Sickening. When did death become such a hippie fest? When I die...

    Fred Armisen