Jeff Sessions Is Just Happy to Be Here

The attorney general loves his job no matter what his boss says about him in the paper.
July 20, 2017, 11:21pm
Jeff Sessions at a press conference Thursday | 

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Attorney General Jeff Sessions does not seem in the least bothered by Donald Trump casually telling America's paper of record he wouldn't have chosen the Alabama lawman for the job had he known Sessions would recuse himself from the Russia probe.

"I have the honor of serving as attorney general. It's something that goes beyond any thought I would have ever had for myself," Sessions said in a press conference about cracking down on cyber crime. Although the attorney general's perennially glassy eyes make him look as if he's always on the verge of tears, make no mistake, Jeff Sessions is feeling this.

"We love this job," he continued, not speaking in the royal we but rather of both himself and his colleagues. "We love this department and I plan to continue to do so, as long as that is appropriate."

In the interview with the New York Times a day earlier, Trump was, well, Trump—whining about getting treated unfairly by his cronies and the media while accidentally saying potentially incriminating things and making sure to mention that French President Emmanuel Macron loves to hold his hand. But that paper led its interview write-up with what Trump said of the man he installed as America's top law enforcement official, who was also one of his earliest supporters:

"Jeff Sessions takes the job, gets into the job, recuses himself, which frankly I think is very unfair to the president," Mr. Trump said. "How do you take a job and then recuse yourself? If he would have recused himself before the job, I would have said, 'Thanks, Jeff, but I'm not going to take you.' It's extremely unfair — and that's a mild word — to the president."

It makes sense that Donald Trump was irked by Sessions' recusal, a rare moment when the attorney general actually made an obviously good decision. As Trump reportedly told former FBI Director James Comey, he's desperate for loyalty. Sessions' recusal made things more difficult for Trump, and since the president's predominant personality traits, if we must choose just three, consist of being incredibly petty, a dumbass, and a giant bully, it's only natural he'd whine about not getting his way to the Times.

So despite the usual—the president embarrassing himself and his administration—Sessions is fine, for now. He has his dream job: one that allows him to take Trump's racist travel ban to the Supreme Court, help cops seize property from almost anyone they feel like who's even suspected of a crime, and ramp up the war on drugs.

Jeff Sessions is in heaven, despite Trump's buffoonery. Makes sense that a man once effectively deemed too racist to be a federal judge is making all his dreams come true as large swaths of the country suffer in what feels like total chaos.

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