FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Who Needs Emojis When You Can Mail Your Lover a Personalized Eggplant?

What happens when you take a vegetable, turn it into an emoji, and then transform it once again back into its IRL equivalent?
Photo via Flickr user dominicotine

What happens when you take a vegetable, turn it into an emoji, and then transform it once again back into its IRL equivalent? Does this sound alldailydot.com/lol/eggplant-emoji-mailmeta and digital-agey to you? Well it's not. The answer to this riddle is this: you just have a stupid vegetable again. Duh.

And that's what's going on with a new business that is trying to capitalize on the phallic symbolism of the eggplant emoji.

Advertisement

Yes, folks, for the low price of £6.99 sterling ($9.93), you can anonymously send someone a large black eggplant inscribed with the ever so slightly creepy saying of your choice. Eggplantmail.com would like to suggest a few: "Suck on this Carol! We're finished!" is one example.

You Can Now Mail An Eggplant To Your Frenemy Thanks To This | https://t.co/pswETRSLic #HarryPotter pic.twitter.com/4WTEITJMj7

— Artarius Media (@ArtariusMedia) March 18, 2016

READ MORE: You Can Now Send Bae a Personalized Potato on Valentine's Day

As their motto makes clear—it's "100 percent Phallic 100 percent Anonymous 100 percent Disturbing"—this company calls it like it is. In fact, eggplantmail.com asks this question on its website: "Want to send someone a real life penis emoji?" If you can answer that question in the affirmative, this is your lucky day.

Whether it's being used as a sexy come on, a means of ghosting your last significant other, or just a friendly hello to a person you've never actually met, this company has eggplants at your disposal.

Just make sure you don't try to eat them. The website explicitly warns against ingesting the eggplants due to the ink they use and "possible germs" picked up during shipment, according to the Daily Dot.

The site's founder told Mashable, "The purpose of this business is to help people send disturbing phallic eggplants to their haters, lovers, and mothers." He goes on explain that the idea for the business came about after he gave his friend an eggplant as a birthday present. "He has a weird habit of signing off texts with the eggplant emoji, so whilst walking through my local fruit market I had an idea: I could send him a far weirder real life penis emoji."

So when is an eggplant not an eggplant? When it's a faux emoji phallic symbol, that's when.