The Best Beach Towels for Being the Hottest Chalupa at the Pool This Summer

Towels are to the beach what bedding is to your bedroom. Sure, you can ultimately rest your sweet cheeks on whatever you get your hands on and call it a day. But wouldn’t you rather have a towel with some personality? A quality weave? A quick-drying, microfiber material that can hold nine times the lake water of that terry cloth Costco towel you’ve had since 10th grade? Put it out of its misery, mate.

The best beach towels should look just as good hanging on our bathroom hook, avoiding laundry day, as they will swaddling your charcuterie booty, sitting poolside with a can of White Claw. The only major points for you to understand are 1) size, 2) material, and 3) which patterns can take your chip-stained fingers. Whether you’ve been searching for a vintage 90s beach towel that could live in a Florida nursing home or a handwoven Turkish towel that could double as a living room throw, make sure it clocks you as the main character of the aquatic warm weather function. 

Here’s a cheat sheet of some of the best beach towels to throw your clams at this spring and summer, including spicy Guy Fieri-approved towels, a Grateful Dead jawn, and the best thick beach towels from Brooklinen.

Come on in! The bong water’s fine. Also, you could spill salsa on this Deadhead jawn, and no one would be the wiser with the chorus line of bears. Remember: the best beach towels should be worthy of lining your coffin.  

It sucks to lug a heavy towel to the beach when the rest of your wares (sunscreen, a cover-up) are lightweight—so just go for a microfiber towel, which can absorb nine to seven times (oddly specific, but OK) much water as a cotton or terry cloth towel, according to the makers, and dry faster too. 

It turns out that Brooklinen, one of the internet’s best cult-fave bedding companies, also makes a wicked soft beach towel with a Matisse-worthy motif.

Sad your mom threw out those really threadbare towels that you got high on for the first time? Don’t sulk, because Urban Outfitters apparently has the same nostalgia for colorful, faded-to-hell towels. I can smell the chlorine and stale beer now.

Every friend who arrives at the beach will know how to find you if you’re sitting on a pink and green checkerboard. Just don’t stare at it for too long under the sun?  

This copper Jacquemus beach towel is the ultimate “quiet luxury” flex for summer.

… Nothing wrong with that. This is the kind of towel that could’ve hosted many a Coppertone bum on set for The Endless Summer.

Maybe you know the brand, but did you know Dusen Dusen also has an amazing sense of humor? (Don’t believe us? Watch this HSN-inspired skit with Dusen Dusen rep Vicky, played by the incomparable John Early). Comedy aside, we’re not joking when we say the brand’s super soft brushed-cotton beach towels with mis-matched stripes are currently 30% off at Design Within Reach.

Turkish towels are magical because they’re super thin, but made of extra-long fibers that feel softer on your skin than terry cloth. Like the platonic ideal of the perfect towel, these fibers actually get softer with each wash. This handwoven model is designed by a generations-old Turkish textile company and will look great wherever it lands, from the couch to the post-beach patio. They are the best oversized beach towel (IMHO), since they fold up so nicely.

This Turkish cotton beach towel is a bestseller on Amazon (probably because it brings an extra dose of serotonin to the beach with its technicolor pattern and tassels).

In a perfect world, Shannyn Sossamon presents you not only with this towel, but matching BFF mood rings. 

Can’t explain it, but you’re the wise one in the group—the one who brings the tarot cards to the beach. This cotton snake towel from iconic home decor designer Jonathan Adler shows not only that BB&B is ready to sweep us off our keisters this spring, but at 70 inches long and 40 inches wide, it can fit you and one to two hunnies. 

Who brings the XXL UTZ Red Hot chips to the beach, and licks their fingers clean in a pair of fresh Oakleys while watching the sets? You do. Think about how good it will look next to your Iron Maiden-themed Igloo cooler full of brewskis.  

Here me out: Six of these, a couple Moroccan poufs, and some calming sitar playing aloud, and you’ve got yourself a rockin’ Saharan Desert picinc for 1/13th of the price.

Your nails are painted red. Your chest hair is curly. Whoever you are, your first words in the morning (meaning: 12 PM) are something like, “Be a dear, and go to the corner store to get Mommy a fresh pack and a mango?” For you, the best beach towel hasn’t changed a bit since 1991.

The best way to stop the endless scrolling and appreciate the great outdoors? A towel that doubles as an activity—you can play checkers or backgammon with the 32 included wooden pieces and two dice as you eat your glorious beach sandwich.

We stan a hot 70s himbo of any kind—be it a Tom of Finland leather daddy, the cowboy from The Village People, or a groovy disco-dancer. In our fantasy they’re laying atop this funky fringed FUNBOY number.

Next up in seasonal advice: Killing all the mosquitos in your vicinitiy. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.