Oh, William Gonzalez, you went wrong in so many ways.
The Las Cruces, New Mexico police officer has been placed on leave after allegedly greeting a female Domino's pizza delivery driver while wearing nothing but a smile. After opening his door totally naked, he walked back into his house, totally naked, and returned to give the woman a tip, totally naked.
The 20-year-old driver immediately contacted her supervisor and called the cops to report her run-in with the world's creepiest customer. But according to the Las Cruces Sun-News, Gonzalez—who may or may not have still been naked—called some of his pals on the police force and begged them to keep the incident quiet.
Officer Juan Roman reported that Gonzalez called his personal cell phone and asked him to keep the situation "10-35," cop-speak for confidential. Over the next hour, Gonzalez continued to text Roman, writing "What's the word, bro?" and "Damn, bro. Is it looking bad?"
"It is truly sad that an employee knowing right from wrong still does wrong against all reason. It is also sad that an employee will put a fellow employee in a tough position of having to inform a supervisor of misconduct," LCPD Chief Jaime Montoya said in a statement.
Meanwhile, the unidentified Domino's driver told officers that this wasn't even the first time she had a distasteful encounter with Gonzalez. She reported that, several months ago, Gonzalez answered the door wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and told her that his friends had dared him to open the door naked.
Gonzalez was placed on administrative leave and was cited with indecent exposure. He has pleaded not guilty. Regardless, while he's at home, he should probably stick to frozen pies.