The Internet Really Hates This Deconstructed Sausage Sandwich

Is nothing sacred?
Phoebe Hurst
London, GB
January 25, 2017, 1:00pm

Last summer, a cafe in Melbourne did something at which many of us still wince at the memory. An act so needlessly kooky that it almost put us off coffee—or at least Australian baristas—for life.

Yes, we're talking about the deconstructed flat white (#neverforget). Sold by a fortuitously unidentified cafe in the Victorian capital, the "coffee" was made up of three separate beakers containing hot water, milk, and espresso; all served atop—what else?—a wooden board.

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Unsurprisingly, the drink was ridiculed on social media and the cries of "peak hipster!" echoed across the world.

*READ MORE: The Deconstructed Coffee That Has Australians in an Uproar*

But here's the thing about hipsters: they never learn. This week, chilling reports emerged of another deconstructed food item. This time, the victim was the hallowed sausage sandwich.

Is nothing sacred?

As news.com.au reports, a photo of the sandwich was posted to the Melbourne Flames Dragon Boat Club Facebook page on Friday. It showed a slice of white bread, a sausage, and fried onions arranged separately atop a wooden board, along with three spoons of tomato sauce, mustard, and barbecue sauce. The "sandwich" was being sold by the boat club as part of a fundraising barbecue.

We'll give you a minute to process that.

For those uninitiated in what a true sausage sandwich looks like, it should be a single slice of cheap white bread wrapped around a barbecued sausage (or "snag," if you're a true Aussie), topped with fried onions and the condiment of your choice. No artfully arranged spoons required.

The snack holds special significance in Australia, where it is sold at school events and, inexplicably, community fundraising stands outside Bunnings Warehouse, a chain of homeware stores.

It's little wonder, then, that the photo attracted much disdain on Australian social media, with Facebook users branding it "utterly disgraceful" and a "hipster sausage," while one Twitter response to the pic proclaimed it a "sad day to be Australian."

But hold off on the hipster hate for a moment—the deconstructed sausage sandwich might not be all that it seems. Speaking to Mashable, Rachel Kadziela of the Dragon Boat Club explained that the photo was actually a stunt, intended to draw attention to the group's fundraiser, rather than an act of culinary improvisation.

She said: "We were in a hipster suburb within Melbourne when we were cooking the Bunnings sausage sizzle and one of our fellow paddlers, Tim, came up with the idea to make the deconstructed sandwich. We're amused by people's reactions. They've clearly missed the joke—as if we would ever mess with the sacred tradition that is the Bunnings sausage sizzle!"

The sausage sandwich lives to sizzle another day.