Hey, we heard you like lists, so we made another fucking list. Anyways it's the holidays or whatever and if you work in retail your weird day dreams are probably metastisizing into violent fantasies as the boss's Christmas playlist continues to loop nauseatingly every 46 minutes. I mean, how many times can you hear about mommy kissing Santa Claus while wrapping snow globes at Yankee Candle without pulling a Half Baked on those motherfuckers and dropping the mic for eternity?
We figure it's probably better to skewer the canon of Christmas carolling classics than to skewer a customer with a festively decorated candelabra, am I right? So here's to that pitch black wad of hate that's hardening just behind your sternum, and let's hope you can find a healthy outlet for all that yuletide alienation. And while you're at it, you can make fun of dance music's most misunderstood contingent! Those silly fuckers.Shout out to hardstyle OG Scooter for always putting a smile on our faces. How could this stuff not make you wanna go dance all night then ram your head through a wall?
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Do you ever stop and think about how much you fucking hate electronic music? I do.OBVIOUSLY. What's more hardstyle than Jack Skellington serenading his undead sex bomb girlfriend? The drop is at two minutes, in case you were wondering.
I can't figure out if this video looks like the ski trip from hell or the best vacationever. These guys were so ahead of the times because any minute there is gonna be an Avicci song that sounds exactly like this.Shout out toAC Slaterfor telling me that there is an album calledDancemania Christmas SPEED. Everything about this is just wrong. Also—theartwork!I couldn't even get through 15 seconds of this without cracking up laughing and then turning it off. How did more than one person collaborate on this while thinking,Hey this is pretty good? Wasn'toneof them like, "OK—maybe this is the worst song ever, we should probably stop."Can someone find me a 320 of this one?